Live Lounge Month had started
Radio 1’s Live Lounge Month began with Taylor Swift, giving September an unusually large opening before Scott and Chris had even reached their own afternoon show.
Scott noticed Clara Amfo giving Taylor a “chef’s kiss” and enjoyed the gesture enough to discuss what it meant.
The phrase would become much more dangerous later in the month when the show discovered internet slang could give apparently innocent expressions very different meanings.
What was the award you were secretly proud of?
The show asked listeners about awards from school, university or work which still meant far more to them than the prize probably justified.
The discussion ranged from serious achievement to office awards and tiny certificates people had kept for years.
Scott liked how much pride somebody could still feel over something won decades earlier.
Chris’s cycling comeback had a painful consequence
Chris had started cycling again because he was considering a roughly 45-mile Palace-to-Palace charity ride.
The problem was the saddle.
After getting back on the bike, the area between the front and back, which Chris and Scott inevitably compared with the bridge between the two sides of Fleet Services, was extremely sore.
Chris put the problem on social media expecting ordinary cycling advice.
Instead, one of Britain’s greatest cyclists replied.
Geraint Thomas, Tour de France winner and BBC Sports Personality of the Year, joined the show to help.
Geraint said the soreness came with the territory
Geraint reassured Chris that saddle discomfort was familiar territory for cyclists, although the right equipment mattered.
A good saddle and proper padded cycling shorts could make a significant difference.
He also mentioned chamois cream, applied around the padded section of the shorts to reduce friction.
Then came the advice Chris had not expected.
Do not wear ordinary underwear underneath cycling shorts.
Geraint explained that extra fabric could increase chafing rather than protect against it.
Chris initially thought fewer layers sounded less safe.
He accepted that Geraint probably knew more about cycling than he did.
At professional races, Geraint said doctors could also deal with saddle sores and other problems in exactly the area Chris was discussing.
Scott delighted in the fact Chris had somehow persuaded a Tour de France winner to discuss his undercarriage on Radio 1.
Ask Me Anything met Keith Fisher
The day’s anonymous Ask Me Anything caller introduced himself as Keith Fisher from the Institute of Meat.
Keith had been making sausages since he was around 12 and worked as a chief sausage judge for several organisations.
Scott immediately reduced the profession to:
“Professional sausage taster?”
Keith agreed that was basically fair.
National Sausage Week was approaching its 22nd year and Keith said the competition could attract around 550 to 600 entries a year.
Across the years, that amounted to roughly 12,500 sausages passing through the judging process.
Keith had tasted most of them.
Fish sausage was the low point
Scott asked whether anybody had ever submitted a truly terrible sausage.
Keith’s answer was immediate.
A fish sausage stood out as one of the worst he had tasted.
Scott and Chris both rejected the concept before Keith needed to explain further.
What made the perfect sausage?
Keith said appearance mattered first.
A sausage needed to look appealing enough for somebody to want to eat it.
Then he judged consistency.
Similar size.
Proper filling.
Not spongy.
A consistent length across the batch.
Scott naturally became interested in whether short or long was preferable.
Keith’s serious answer was that either could be fine.
What mattered was consistency.
The innuendo wrote itself.
The Prince of Pork had spoken
Scott called Keith the Prince of Pork and briefly imagined a Radio 1 sausage festival.
Ask Me Anything had already found some extraordinary professions in 2019.
September began with somebody who could judge a sausage professionally and explain exactly why one was better than another.
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