Chris’s Bad Guy verse had escaped the show
The parody verse Chris recorded for Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy” had travelled around Radio 1.
Emeli Sandé and Grimmy had heard it and praised it.
Chris compared the experience with briefly becoming a real pop star.
His song was being discussed on another Radio 1 programme while he listened in the car.
Scott thought the praise was encouraging the wrong person.
Chris now wanted listeners with absolutely no musical ability to send in their own lyrics so the show could prove Auto-Tune could transform almost anybody.
Holiday T-Shirt Day was approaching fast
Thursday’s experiment was gaining momentum.
Listeners were digging old shirts out of cupboards and sending photographs.
University socials.
Rugby tours.
Young Farmers events.
Stag weekends.
Group holidays.
Scott was especially interested in shirts where the nickname required explanation.
That produced Baby Dolphin.
Skinny dipping created the nickname
The listener had been on a holiday around Magaluf before a later stag do.
He got talking to a group of women and eventually ended up skinny dipping with one of them.
They were completely naked in the sea.
After a few minutes, they came back towards the beach.
His friends could see everything.
One particular part of his body attracted commentary.
The resulting nickname was:
Baby Dolphin.
Scott tried to decide whether this was flattering.
The listener did not think so.
The show imagined the comparison as something curved emerging from the water.
That did not improve it.
Gary preserved it on a shirt
The best man, Gary, had also been on the earlier holiday.
When the later stag shirts were made, Baby Dolphin returned.
The nickname was printed permanently on the shirt.
That was exactly the kind of garment Holiday T-Shirt Day existed to resurrect.
A stranger looking at the shirt would have no idea what it meant.
The owner had a story he might regret explaining.
Scott told Freya Ridings about the horse guess
Scott had recently spoken to Freya Ridings and decided to tell her that listeners playing Secret Snog had guessed she might be the celebrity kissing a horse.
The real earlier answer had been Billie Eilish kissing a Pringles tin.
Instead of ending there, Scott tried to turn the conversation into a discussion about practising kissing.
Had Freya used the back of her hand?
A peach?
The chat went nowhere.
Chris replayed it and described Scott’s banter as painfully dry.
Scott accepted that the conversation had not been one of his strongest interviews.
Ask Me Anything met a bomb-disposal engineer
The day’s extraordinary person was Steve Rimmer, a civilian bomb-disposal engineer who had previously served in the armed forces.
Steve’s current work involved locating unexploded Second World War bombs before construction projects began.
Scott and Chris immediately treated him as somebody who must have nerves of steel.
Steve was much more matter-of-fact.
It was a job.
Some people painted lines on roads.
He dealt with bombs left in the ground.
The red-wire cliché was wrong
The presenters asked the obvious film question.
Was bomb disposal really about choosing between a red wire and a blue wire?
Steve said no.
Real work was much more technical and involved electrical principles and specialist knowledge.
He was understandably unwilling to turn a daytime radio interview into an instructional guide.
Steve also described his military experience as involving situations considerably more dangerous than the relatively controlled image people might have from films.
Scott liked the contrast between the extraordinary occupation and Steve’s calm voice.
Chris joined another social network
The show also discussed Chris attempting to join TikTok and discovering versions of his preferred username were already taken.
He disliked the idea of adding “official”, “real” or random numbers to his name.
Scott pointed out that this was the modern celebrity problem.
Every new platform required claiming the same identity again.
Fitness apps only worked if you told the truth
Chris had also started using a food-tracking app.
Scott immediately suspected he was not entering everything.
Did food bought by somebody else count?
What about vodka?
Several yoghurts late at night?
Chris argued he was being honest enough.
Scott pointed out that lying to a fitness app only cheated the person using it, particularly if a trainer could see the record.
The programme had spent July discussing fake nationalities and secret identities.
Now it had reached the smallest possible lie.
Pretending a slice of pizza had not happened.
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