Meghan and Harry created a new Royal entry
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex had announced they were expecting a baby.
Scott’s instinct was to turn the line of succession into the Official Chart.
The unborn baby had effectively become a new entry, pushing other members of the Royal Family down the rankings.
Scott worked through the order with grand orchestral music underneath, treating constitutional succession like a Sunday chart countdown.
Prince Harry remained behind the Cambridge children.
Prince Andrew and the York sisters occupied lower positions.
Prince Edward had been pushed out of Scott’s Royal Top 10.
Chris pointed out that Scott would turn almost anything into a chart if given enough time.
The world was running out of songs
The main feature revived We’re Running Out of Music.
Listeners and Radio 1 staff had been hearing current songs which sounded strikingly similar to older tracks.
Scott was careful not to accuse anybody of stealing.
His theory was simpler: there were only so many melodies, rhythms and chord combinations available before pop inevitably started looping back on itself.
One comparison placed a Bazzi and Camila Cabello record beside John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy”.
Another put a Jess Glynne track next to the *This Morning* theme.
Changing the speed of records sometimes made the similarities even more obvious.
Scott thought the evidence was becoming difficult to ignore.
Eventually, perhaps every possible pop song really would already have been written.
Monday’s relationship feature endangered Chris again
The programme also returned to weekend blowouts, the petty arguments which started on Saturday or Sunday and were somehow still alive by Monday afternoon.
Chris increasingly regretted contributing examples from his own marriage.
Every story sounded funny while he was in the studio.
Then he remembered his wife could hear the programme.
Scott considered that exactly why the feature worked.
Ordinary couples could hear that everybody sometimes devoted absurd levels of energy to arguments which barely deserved five minutes.
Chris simply wished his own examples could be anonymised.
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