Freshers had already exhausted Scott and Chris
The programme arrived after a busy weekend of Radio 1 student events.
Scott and Chris had been travelling between Aberdeen and Stirling and were already struggling to remember which night had happened where.
Scott loved returning to Stirling University because of the lake and the old running joke about a one-eyed monster supposedly living in it.
The schedule was only getting busier.
Radio 1 was deep into freshers season and the pair were about to spend much of September travelling between universities.
That made Chris’s latest purchase unexpectedly important.
Chris had become a neck-pillow person
Scott could not believe Chris had started carrying a U-shaped travel pillow.
Chris defended it on practical grounds.
Whenever he travelled with Scott, Scott normally wanted the window seat.
Chris was left in the middle, trying to sleep while Scott complained about the way his head rolled around.
Scott’s own description was less flattering.
He said Chris slept with his mouth open, let his head repeatedly fall forwards and occasionally produced travel-related bodily noises nobody around him wanted.
Chris thought the pillow solved most of that.
Scott said it looked like half a padded toilet seat around his neck.
The argument eventually inspired them to order something even more extreme: an Ostrich Pillow, which covered almost the entire head.
Gemma Collins treated MasterChef exactly as expected
Celebrity MasterChef had featured Gemma Collins and Scott thought it was perfect television.
The transcript repeatedly misidentifies the contestant as Matt Edmondson, but the clips and discussion are clearly about the GC.
Gemma openly admitted she was out of her depth around serious chefs and tried to work out how to cut vegetables while Gregg Wallace and John Torode watched.
Scott’s favourite thing was that she treated the competition with exactly the energy people expected from her television persona.
She did not last long.
Her sea bass helped send her out of the competition.
Scott was disappointed because he wanted the chaos to continue for the entire series.
Kate became officially famous in Devon
Kate returned after revealing the previous week that she had completed 38 dating-app dates during cuffing season.
Local newspapers had picked up the story and dubbed her the Cuffing Queen.
Scott gave her a royal-style introduction.
Kate said local reporters were contacting her and asking for photographs.
The dating diary which had begun as a personal record was now becoming public property.
Radio 1 started with dates one to four.
One early man, nicknamed Chocca in the transcript, did not make enough of an impression romantically.
He did, however, go on to reinvent himself as the Prosecco King, operating a mobile Prosecco business from a van.
Scott thought the title made him sound like the natural partner for the Cuffing Queen.
Kate disagreed.
Another date, Andy, had been recommended through a friend who worked with him at a hospital.
Kate remembered his waterproof-style coat more clearly than any romantic chemistry.
The first four entries established the format.
Tiny details from clothes, messages, jobs and awkward conversation were enough to bring every date back to life.
The secret WhatsApp group was only for farts
An anonymous listener called through a voice changer because he was worried about admitting what his WhatsApp group contained.
Scott expected something genuinely scandalous.
It was a group entirely devoted to farts.
Members recorded themselves and shared the results.
The caller’s concern was employment.
After the American security guard nicknamed Paul Flart lost his job following his viral fart videos, this listener was worried that admitting membership of the group on Radio 1 could somehow create the same problem.
Scott reassured him that he did not need to identify himself or his workplace.
Even so, the show had now found another group of adults carefully archiving flatulence for one another.
COMMENTS