The sick producer had to announce himself
Chris was away, so Maya Jama joined Scott.
One member of the production team had returned while still obviously ill.
Scott, who was particularly conscious of germs, did not want anybody accidentally getting too close.
The solution was deliberately humiliating.
The producer was given a bell and told to announce that he was “unclean”.
It turned illness prevention into something closer to a medieval warning system.
Scott then extended the idea to listeners, ringing people and sounding the bell for their own illnesses.
Instagram posting had become a team sport
The programme also investigated how seriously some people treated the timing of Instagram posts.
One caller said her group of friends coordinated the process.
Before somebody posted a photograph, the others could be warned so they were ready to like and comment quickly.
Evenings were considered useful because more people were online.
Sunday mornings could work too, particularly when people were lying in bed after a night out scrolling through their phones.
The caller wanted at least 100 likes and treated captions, poses and posting time as things worth planning rather than leaving to chance.
Scott realised that a photograph which looked spontaneous could have a surprising amount of organisation behind it.
Maya faced the Rumour Mill
Scott then introduced the Maya Jama Rumour Mill.
A wheel selected categories and Scott read rumours for Maya to confirm or deny.
The first major claim was that Maya would appear on *Strictly Come Dancing* that year.
She said no.
Maya could imagine doing the programme at some point in her life, but 2018 was not the right time.
She joked that Scott’s own famous crab-like dance had shown her the level she needed to reach.
Had the Archbishop of Canterbury called Stormzy?
Another headline claimed that Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby had phoned Stormzy for advice before the Royal Wedding.
Maya had never heard anything about such a call.
She thought it was the kind of conversation Stormzy probably would have mentioned.
There was a genuine connection behind the rumour: Welby had publicly referred to a Stormzy lyric about staying prayed up and getting the job done.
That was not the same thing as the two men having a private pre-wedding advice call.
As far as Maya knew, the story was not true.
Stormzy was the snorer
The next claim was more personal.
A rumour said Maya and Stormzy slept in separate rooms because Maya snored constantly.
Maya laughed at it.
She said she did not snore.
Stormzy did.
They did not sleep in separate rooms.
Scott had therefore learned that the rumour had essentially assigned the snoring to the wrong person.
Being half-Swedish did not unlock IKEA
The wheel then produced a claim that Maya received 50% off at IKEA because she was half-Swedish.
Again, no.
Her mum had worked at IKEA and Maya had friends connected to the company, so she had benefited from ordinary staff discounts in the past.
There was no heritage discount for being Swedish.
Maya did, however, genuinely love IKEA, including the food at the end and the strange household items people discovered they apparently needed only after walking through the store.
The Rumour Mill ended having established several useful facts.
Maya was not doing *Strictly* that year.
She had no knowledge of a Stormzy-Archbishop advice call.
Stormzy, not Maya, was the snorer.
And Sweden had not issued her with a lifetime half-price Billy bookcase card.
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