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7 March 2016: Scott prescribes a bird for a listener’s spider problem

HomeShow Diary

7 March 2016: Scott prescribes a bird for a listener’s spider problem

 

The open bathroom door

Kim Kardashian’s bathroom selfie left Scott less interested in the photograph than in the open door behind her. Even while alone, he said, he would close the bathroom door before showering or using the toilet. A student caller agreed that the open doorway made an already unusual picture even stranger.

The conversation broadened into listeners’ rules about privacy at home. Scott accepted that people behaved differently when alone, but could not understand why anybody would leave themselves exposed to the rest of the house.

Put a bird in the house

A listener wanted help removing a spider. Scott reached for the nursery-rhyme logic of There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly: the old lady swallowed a bird to catch the spider, so the caller needed to introduce a bird into the room.

She repeatedly checked whether he genuinely expected her to obtain one. Scott insisted that “a simple bird” should work and asked her to call back only if the plan failed, before adding a late warning to investigate the health-and-safety implications. The caller reluctantly agreed to find a bird, leaving Scott satisfied that his work was complete.

Campaigning like Drake

Student-election videos continued after Toby’s success. Kalani had built his campaign around Drake, using If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late-style artwork and a version of the “Hotline Bling” video with his face placed over Drake’s. His manifesto was handed out while he copied the familiar dance moves.

Scott admired the commitment but remained concerned that the increasingly polished productions were losing their homemade quality. Chris, away from the studio, still called in for Battle of the Bangers after objecting to the way Scott had represented his choices on a previous absence. Real or No Real also established that underwater swimming had appeared at the 1900 Olympics, although it was never repeated.

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