James became the “freshen up” man
James and his fellow private investigator “Jane” returned with one of their least glamorous undercover jobs.
A nightclub owner wanted to know what was happening inside the venue’s toilets.
The obvious way to watch without attracting attention was to become the attendants.
James went into the men’s toilets.
Jane went into the women’s.
They worked from around 10pm until the sun came up, posing as the familiar nightclub attendants offering aftershave, chewing gum, lollipops and other supplies.
James even added a mobile-phone charging service.
Chris was particularly interested in whether they had learned the traditional toilet-attendant songs about “freshening up”.
James admitted he had improvised his own.
The two toilets were very different workplaces
James and Jane could not spend the night together because they were stationed in separate rooms, so they texted each other updates.
Jane’s side involved tears, a hen party and helping a woman who had been sick.
James’s involved more blood and several men becoming instant best friends with him during drunken conversations.
They also turned the night into a competition to see who could earn the most in tips.
James won.
Scott liked the idea that the investigators were simultaneously doing serious surveillance work and keeping a private scoreboard on the success of their fake toiletries businesses.
Because customers thought they were ordinary attendants, people also took photographs and Snapchat videos around them without necessarily realising they were documenting two private investigators hiding in plain sight.
Jane’s glamorous job went wrong too
Asked whether her work ever became more glamorous, Jane described an assignment in a very expensive London hotel.
She was supposed to approach a male target at the bar and see whether he would exchange phone numbers with her.
James remained nearby, listening and watching.
Before the operation could properly develop, hotel staff became suspicious of them and escorted both investigators out.
Scott and Chris appreciated that even the elegant assignments could end less successfully than a night spent selling chewing gum in a nightclub toilet.
Could Wales hear Mollie King?
Biggest Weekend preparations also produced a deliberately silly follow-up to Yanny and Laurel.
Scott claimed that Mollie King’s very polished accent might be so posh that people in Wales would hear only white noise.
Clips of Mollie were played to Welsh listeners.
Some played along and claimed they could hear almost nothing.
Scott eventually admitted the whole thing was an attempted Yanny-or-Laurel-style sketch which had not entirely worked and apologised to both Mollie and Wales.
The programme also continued collecting listeners’ increasingly inventive methods for getting to the front at gigs.
One involved carrying a sausage through the crowd and announcing it loudly enough that people moved aside.
Scott strongly advised against the part where the listener later threw the sausage onto the stage.
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