How to quit a job in style
Scott had seen a resignation idea online involving a sympathy card reading “sorry for your loss”, with the employee explaining inside that the loss was them because they were leaving. It prompted listeners to describe either dramatic resignations they had actually made or the exits they wished they were brave enough to attempt.
Sharon had genuinely used a “sorry for your loss” card when leaving a small team, treating her own departure as the bereavement. Another listener proposed writing a resignation on a scroll and letting it dramatically unfurl in front of the boss like a microphone drop.
One former Post Office worker had tried to leave several times but felt guilty after being reminded how much money had been spent training her. Eventually she wrote a short resignation, ran in, put it on the counter, warned the manager “you’re not going to like what’s in that envelope”, fled to her car and put her phone on flight mode for roughly a day and a half.
Scott already had thoughts about his own exit
The conversation inevitably turned to how Scott might one day leave Radio 1. Chris was asked whether he thought Scott would resign voluntarily or eventually be pushed first, and admitted his answer could probably change depending on what had been said on the programme that week.
Scott said he had long imagined what his final show would be like. If he ever found himself being forced out, he suggested the programme would sound completely normal for most of its duration before a final half-hour in which a prepared script came out.
The warning to management was essentially that allowing him to resign peacefully might be safer than giving him a reason to make the final broadcast memorable.
Sam needed a fake boyfriend to get his mum off his back
The Fake Boyfriend Service returned for another attempt. Sam, 20 and at university in Liverpool, said his mum Nicola kept asking why he did not have a boyfriend, partly because his brother was already in a long-term relationship. Sam was not particularly bothered about being single and had university and other priorities.
Asked to define the ideal man Nicola would approve of, Sam described somebody attractive, successful, caring and generous. For a celebrity reference, he settled on a mixture of “75% Ryan Gosling and 25% Drake”.
Chris therefore became “Dr Rod Long OBE”. He phoned Nicola claiming he had found her number in Sam’s phone because he wanted advice on buying him a present. Within moments he had announced that he was a doctor, emphasised that this meant he was very rich and played an engine sound to demonstrate his expensive car.
He then delivered the crucial physical description: people supposedly said he looked 75% like Ryan Gosling and 25% like Drake. To prove the Drake element, Chris offered to sing and launched into a section of a Drake song.
Nicola was at work and ended the call remarkably quickly. Sam later reviewed the service as “absolutely dreadful”. Scott thought Chris might have had a chance if he had resisted the urge to demonstrate his resemblance to Drake by actually singing Drake down the phone.
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