Scott launches his own religious cult after watching a Channel 4 documentary, and the Pointless Survey of the day asks the nation what Britney Spears smells like—with hilariously specific results.
Following a late-night viewing of a Channel 4 programme about end-of-world cult leader Michael, Scott decides to start his own “normal” cult, recruiting listeners via text. He jokes about the cult’s simplicity: just follow him, and there’ll be wine at the end. The documentary’s cult leader had apparently set a new doomsday date for 15 December after his initial 31 October prediction failed, which Scott notes inconveniently coincides with his payday.
The main event is the Pointless Survey of the day, which asks “What does Britney Spears smell of?” The results are brilliantly odd. When asked on the streets, people suggest everything from spaghetti carbonara to wet dog and sick. But the dominant answer proves to be fish—specifically trout. An impressive 64% of British people surveyed believe Britney Spears smells of trout or fish-related odours. Scott finds this baffling and hilarious, speculating about why fish would be anyone’s first instinct.
The episode also includes an update on the Big Booby Cookie feature, where volunteer Fran (with friend Chloe’s help) measures her chest using a tape measure. The results show a quarter-inch increase from the previous day, bringing the underbust measurement to 29.5 inches and the bust measurement to 34.75 inches. Scott discusses potential celebrity participants for the following week, including Jack Penate and Russell Brand, though Fran requests that Fielding not be involved.
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