Oh dear it’s Monday once more, which means five more stressful days at college, work or school. But not to worry, Scott’s here to drive you home…
It was another disasterous day at the Celebrity Scissorhands academy. He ruined the dad of Lee Stafford’s hair who is 68. He said he gave him a really youthful chav haircut. And they were absolutely loving Steve Strange. He makes brilliant television. What with strange effects, and telling members of the public he’ll try not to hurt them. But because of his left handed cutting, it makes cutting hair a lot more difficult… or so he says.
Chappers: “Is your boss Ray Winstone?”
Scott: “No it’s Lee Stafford, innit”
On tomorrow’s Celebrity Scissorhands show Scott will be cutting a Dutch man’s hair who works with snakes, and he’ll be shaving his name into the back of his head. Funny moments from last night’s show included Janet the beauty expert presuming Michael Barrymore was called Barry Moore. And the narrator claiming “Rowetta was finishing off Bez”.
Moyles put listeners up to ask Scott if he’ll be taking Michelle to the Chart Show Live this weekend. Scott said he certainly wouldn’t be, and she’s mysteriously ill today.
Record of the Week
This week the Record of the Week is ‘Beware Of The Dog’ by Jamelia. It certainly doesn’t sample Personal Jesus or any other song similar…
I’m a lady!
Hatty off of Hatty and Tatty was back on today after a year of absence from the show. Remember them? Possibly Radio 1’s poshest listeners. She wasn’t happy because some of her male flat mates continued to clean out hair from the bath using a fork, before returning it to the kitchen to eat with. It’s the little things that bother these girls…
Flirt Divert
On today’s Flirt Divert there were more freaks of society calling in.
First of all a guy was outside his nan’s house, and he had what she wanted. Is it such a good idea to give out the number to someone who knows where you live?
There was a guy who sounded rather like someone off of a Frank Spencer programme.
A boy was ringing Katie, and after a good night out, he realised that this wasn’t Katie’s number at all. Rather than the usual ‘goodbye’ message he ends the call with ‘if this isn’t your number… well… drop dead!’
And finally a bloke who was sick of the girl not answering the phone, and the more he shouted, the more he sounded like one of the Zig and Zag characters.
Also tonight…
Stuart was back on. He took a friend to an apple festival, and they both went on a tandem. She’s just a friend as she’s too fat to be anything more. At the apple festival there were lots of exciting talks on apples, and he got in an argument with Peter Duncan. Why? Because he claimed he’d created the salad bar at Pizza Hut. He had a fun time, but was disappointed as they didn’t get round to seeing it all.
Plus Chacarron is taking the nation by storm. There’s now plenty of remixes and videos cropping up everywhere online. It’s currently fifth favourite to be a Christmas Number 1 amongst All Angels, Take That, X Factor and Cliff Richard.
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