Paddy, Nico and the bearded Eurovision contender
Scott had spent the weekend replaying 80-year-old Paddy Jones being swung around the Britain’s Got Talent stage by dance partner Nico. Simon Cowell buzzed before the routine accelerated, and Scott did not care that Paddy had already won a Spanish talent show and appeared on television elsewhere. Her ambition to perform for the Queen was enough to justify another competition.
His other weekend discovery was Austria’s Eurovision entry Conchita Wurst at a preview party. Scott described the performer as a bearded lady, enjoyed “Rise Like a Phoenix” and heard a version of “My Heart Will Go On”. Chris was initially distracted by the discovery that “Wurst” meant sausage, while Scott prepared to spend far more time with Conchita when Eurovision arrived.
Rachel wins Real or No Real
Rachel joined before travelling to Marseille for work. Optical Express really did use a sight-themed playlist containing songs such as “Starry Eyed” and “Suddenly I See”, inspiring Scott to imagine butchers selecting nothing but music about meat.
Earwax really had been recommended for chapped lips in the 19th century, leading Chris to admit that he probably knew its taste. Robert Pattinson did not hide among the figures at Madame Tussauds and jump out at visitors. Rachel beat Scott 30 points to 20 and left for southern France with the increasingly rare prize of a clear listener victory.
Scott improves “You & I”
One Direction released a revised version of “You & I” alongside Liam Payne’s “Big Payno” remix and made the isolated vocal tracks available for fans. Hearing the group without any backing sounded strange, but it gave Scott the ingredients for alternatives aimed at audiences the band had overlooked.
He tried bagpipes for Scottish listeners, heavy guitars for Radio 1’s rock audience and a wartime arrangement for older fans and bingo halls. His first experiments used phone sound effects and a news jingle, while Chris questioned whether Liam had really made his own version or whether “Big Payno” might be his father Geoff. Scott’s versions required work, but they demonstrated how comprehensively a ballad could be changed once its vocals escaped into the studio.
Katie is offered a job
The response to Friday’s Real or No Real persuaded the show to create a temporary position for Katie. Scott first asked her to preview the evening’s television, only to receive a hesitant refusal because work made the assignment inconvenient. The team had expected automatic enthusiasm and had not planned for negotiation.
They returned with a better offer: Katie could become the showbiz correspondent, choosing a major celebrity story and giving it her own interpretation. That appealed to her. She accepted the job, promised to begin on Tuesday and gave the Breakfast Show a female team member for its final week.
The banana prohibition
Scott’s objection to eating bananas in public had survived from March. He disliked the act, wanted it confined to the home and insisted that anybody doing it nearby should avoid eye contact. Chris encouraged people to send banana selfies and then ate one slowly in front of him while the isolated One Direction vocals played.
Breaking pieces off by hand did not make the process acceptable. Scott refused to look and ordered listeners to keep the fruit behind closed doors, while Chris demonstrated that the quickest way to strengthen an irrational dislike was to place it directly in front of the person experiencing it.
COMMENTS