Guy follows every lesson from the show
Listener Guy admitted that he and his friend Mel treated the programme as a source of practical dating instruction. On a night out he assembled several previous discussions into one extraordinary approach: “Hey girl”, an offer of sambuca, an immediate proposal to return to her home and pancakes in the morning.
Scott stressed that the show had never advised anybody to say the whole thing, while Chris pointed out that Guy had even misunderstood the pancake code. It was supposed to describe what somebody made the following morning, not promise breakfast in advance. Guy’s first attempt ended with the woman falling over, but his second was successful. He therefore claimed a 50 per cent success rate and promised to incorporate “boring, try again” next time.
A lost Tinder number
Another listener had spent more than a month talking to Laura from Aberdeen on Tinder. She sent him her phone number before deleting the app, but he was busy and failed to save it. By the time he returned, her profile and the message had disappeared.
All he retained was her first name, approximate age, location and memories of their conversations. Scott wondered why Laura could not simply create another account, but distance and Tinder’s matching system made finding one another again unlikely. The show appealed for Laura to recognise the story, while Chris considered whether a police-style artist’s impression might help despite the listener’s limited drawing ability.
Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone and the Breakfast Show
Scott announced that he and Chris would cover the Radio 1 Breakfast Show for two weeks from Monday. Their first major guests would be Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, although the similar names repeatedly caused Scott to call the actor “Andrew Stone”, accidentally invoking the former Pineapple Dance Studios performer instead.
Dan Osborne celebrated the news by giving Bamboleo Wednesday another topless dance. His photograph appeared online as the programme looked ahead to a fortnight of early starts, Hollywood guests and features moved into unfamiliar morning slots.
When a celebrity ruins your clothes
A friend had stopped wearing a shirt after seeing Joe Swash in the same design, prompting listeners to identify clothes tainted by an unwanted celebrity association. One caller owned a conspicuous designer watch that had become “Bobby’s watch” after people repeatedly connected it with Bobby from TOWIE. The end of the relationship in which he received it mattered less than the constant comparisons.
Other examples included a leopard-print top associated with Stacey Solomon and garments seen on EastEnders. Scott advised putting an item away rather than wasting it: the television personality might disappear long before the clothes wore out.
Alice Levine is “99 per cent pig”
Alice Levine returned for Real or No Real. Ryan Gosling really had lived with Justin Timberlake and his mother for six months when the boys appeared in The Mickey Mouse Club. That led Chris to complain that Gosling seemed unlikely to help less attractive friends on a night out, a theory Alice treated with the seriousness it deserved.
Humans did not share half their DNA with mosquitoes, but scientists really had calculated that the nose could distinguish a trillion smells. During the debate, Chris looked directly at Alice while recalling a claim that humans were “99 per cent pig”. She repaid him with the story of a school production of Oliver! in which teachers invented the role of a butcher because no costume fitted her. A routine collection of facts had ended in an unexpectedly personal attack and the rediscovery of Alice’s one-line theatrical career.
COMMENTS