Greg Davies becomes Mr Gilbert again
Greg Davies arrived slightly late after being delayed in traffic, allowing Scott to remember the occasion when reception unexpectedly announced that Nick Knowles was waiting for an interview Scott had forgotten booking. Chris was especially excited because of Greg’s role as Mr Gilbert in The Inbetweeners and wanted to recreate one of the character’s reprimands.
Chris asked Greg to adapt the scene in which Gilbert told Cooper that there was nothing funny about testicles. Greg established that Chris’s surname was Stark, questioned whether he had been given something before the interview and then delivered the line in character. Chris regarded the personalised telling-off as a box ticked and a badge of honour.
The week’s Pitbull enthusiasm then claimed another convert. Greg initially had no idea who the rapper was, but Scott played a sample and explained the appeal of “Mr Worldwide”. Greg declared that he liked it and joked that he would download the music immediately, allowing the team to count him as somebody else who had “come out” as a fan.
Thirteen years in teaching
Greg did not begin comedy until he was 33, having spent 13 years as a teacher. His favourite excuse from a pupil who arrived 20 minutes late was that he had been “livin’ la vida loca”. It was so unexpected that Greg simply let him sit down.
Other memories were more physical. Greg once forgot his height while walking through a corridor, hit his head and regained consciousness surrounded by about 100 laughing pupils. He had to be taken to hospital while the rest of the school watched. On another occasion, a pupil repeatedly made a deliberately irritating face during a boring bank presentation. Greg chased him across the playground, then slowed down when he realised the whole school could see and he had no idea what he would do if he caught him.
Greg said he began as a fun teacher who tried to be everybody’s friend, but the job gradually made him more surly. Former pupils in their thirties still called him “sir”. One recently told him that his lessons had been enjoyable but that, as a teacher, he had been rubbish.
His stand-up audiences produced their own distractions. There was often one person with an unusual laugh and another who looked visibly miserable. Greg once confronted the latter at a signing, only for the woman to explain that she had loved the show but was not an outward laugher. At a later performance he challenged the wrong woman in a red coat while trying to locate another apparently unhappy audience member.
The pub-quiz argument
The studio atmosphere became tense as Chris and Beccy revisited a pub quiz from the previous night. Chris had arrived shortly before it began with a female friend and joined another table because Beccy’s team already contained around seven people. He later went over to socialise, but Beccy thought he was hovering while her team wrote down answers.
She covered their sheet and told him to stop talking because they could not hear the questions. Chris felt she had been unnecessarily dismissive when he was only trying to be friendly, while Beccy accused him of fishing for answers. He was also hurt that she had left without saying goodbye. Their disagreement widened to whether Chris was invited to Beccy’s birthday party and remained unresolved as the programme moved on.
Beccy tells Lawrence her secret
After Chris confessed his Pitbull fandom to his mother and Scott did the same to Brian Belo, Beccy chose the least sympathetic possible recipient: Lawrence, the computer voice from Loving the Trolls. She called to say she had something difficult to get off her chest, only for Lawrence to tell her to get on with it and insist that he could not think any less of her.
Beccy finally said that she loved Pitbull. Lawrence responded by calling her an “utter melt”, but she still felt better for having said it. The exchange completed the team’s week of mock confessions.
Noddy Holder returns to the Christmas project
The team called Noddy Holder, whom they described as the Yoda of festive records, for more advice about their ultimate Christmas song. Their existing checklist required a singalong chorus, bells, innuendo, sadness and an obvious statement that it was Christmas.
Noddy discouraged them from simply copying familiar records and suggested an original shouting rock-and-roll line about peace on Earth. He warned that a song did not become a lasting success without work, even with Scott’s industry contacts and possible exposure on the National Lottery. “Merry Xmas Everybody” would turn 40 the following year, setting the longevity that Scott and Chris wanted to match.
Real or No Real
Danny Howard joined Beccy and Chris for the game. A penguin could not squeeze through a gap as narrow as its beak, but checking Facebook or Twitter really could leave the brain needing 15 minutes to return to a serious task. Herrings genuinely communicated by passing gas, a fact which inspired the studio’s interpretation of a fish conversation.
Whoopi Goldberg had never been married to Peter Cushing, despite the appeal of the name Whoopi Cushing. Alan Sugar did not replace a toilet seat after every use and donate the old ones to charity. Danny finally escaped his poor record in the game and finished with 50 points, ahead of Chris on 40 and Beccy on 20.
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