Scott and Brian Belo admit they love Pitbull
Scott called former Big Brother contestant Brian Belo for another instalment of the programme’s week-long Pitbull joke. He adopted the language of a serious personal confession, telling Brian that he had bottled up and suppressed his feelings and did not want their friendship to become awkward. Brian sounded concerned until Scott finally announced that he loved Pitbull.
Brian was initially less convinced, but Scott encouraged him not to be ashamed. The pair ended up quoting the rapper’s claims about travelling everywhere and hitting home runs, before Brian also declared his love for Pitbull. Scott treated the exchange as another successful “coming out”, following Chris’s call to his mother the previous day.
Frisky and Mannish explain the perfect Christmas song
Frisky and Mannish helped the team analyse the ingredients needed for a lasting festive record. Their first rule was to state the obvious. Songs including “So This Is Christmas”, “Merry Xmas Everybody” and “Little Saint Nick” told listeners directly that Christmas had arrived without worrying about subtle poetry.
The second ingredient was innuendo. Bells went “ding dong”, chestnuts roasted over a fire and Chris Rea found himself “top to toe in tailbacks”. Frisky and Mannish argued that the suggestiveness could be extremely vague because a slight audio wink was enough. Christmas songs also needed pathos: happiness became far happier during the festive season, while sadness became dramatically worse.
Their bleakest example was “The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot”, about a child who asked for soldiers and a drum but received nothing. The team found it almost unbearably sad. A more modern festive record could give teenagers something to listen to while crying silently on trains, but the project also needed a huge singalong chorus and a political message capable of solving the world’s problems.
“Do They Know It’s Christmas?” brought the elements together. It stated the season repeatedly, included bells, invited listeners to join in and delivered an international message. Frisky and Mannish used the song as the model for how Scott and Chris’s own ideas would eventually need to fit together.
Dear Scott
The Posh Radio 4 Lady read a message from a listener who had researched the John Lewis advert after hearing Gabrielle Aplin’s version of “The Power of Love”. Gabrielle had previously visited the show to perform slowed-down songs which sounded suitable for Christmas commercials. Scott felt the programme deserved at least some credit for the direction her career had taken, although Gabrielle’s interviews instead said she had contacted the retailer through Twitter.
A listener in Miami suggested adapting Olly Butler’s “Bish Bash Bosh” for basketball player Chris Bosh and persuading the Miami Heat to use it when he entered the court. Another reported that Andrew Ridgeley still earned around £50,000 a year from “Last Christmas”, strengthening the team’s belief that one durable festive song could provide a long-term income.
The team also gave an early birthday greeting to Ina. Their deliberately tired rendition was followed by a pre-recorded N-Dubz message which repeatedly called the recipient “mate”. A later email supported Scott after actor Danny Dyer’s remarks on Twitter and suggested turning them into a future edition of Loving the Trolls.
Innuendo Bingo Extreme
Chris played alone while lying on his back on a plastic sheet. Instead of holding water, he was fed different foods so that anything he spat out would land directly on him. Rice pudding came first as Radio 4 previewed a discussion about why great tits were in danger, followed by tinned spaghetti for an antiques expert admiring a shiny belly.
Squirty cream accompanied Gok Wan’s advice about getting something all the way down a top, into a face and through the hair. Heston Blumenthal prompted another rice-pudding eruption by discussing a large amount, while an interview about Girls Aloud left spaghetti running back across Chris’s face.
Hundreds and thousands were added for The Hotel Inspector, whose guests arrived to sample Muff’s package. After a brief return to water, Chris faced cream for a clip about infrared cameras trained on beavers. The finale combined cream and hundreds and thousands, leaving him looking like a cake before Deirdre’s grass line sent the mixture straight into his nose.
Real or No Real
Humming had not been banned in Ukraine in 1712 to prevent wasp attacks. Jim Carrey really had worn tap shoes to bed in case his parents needed cheering up during the night, but the average woman did not produce enough tears each year to flush a toilet.
An Italian expression really did use a full bottle of wine and a drunk wife in place of “You can’t have your cake and eat it”. The lifespan of every polar bear was not shortened whenever somebody sang a Justin Bieber song. Chris finished with 30 points.
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