Beccy plans a night-vision stakeout near the Middletons
Scott considered repainting the baby-blue spare room in his house and asked Beccy and Chris to choose a theme. Beccy suggested a ski lodge with pine walls and a moose head, while Scott imagined himself painting in a white vest like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. Chris thought the result was more likely to resemble Jim from The Royle Family, before the team wandered through the existing hotel bedroom, disco room and bathroom tip tray.
Hillary introduced the show with three remarkable facts. Theo Walcott had kicked a football into her face at school, shop assistants had once mistaken her for Reese Witherspoon and she lived two minutes from Kate Middleton’s parents. The last revelation delighted Beccy, who admitted driving around the area on Sunday afternoons in the hope of identifying their house.
Hillary offered to show Beccy where the Middletons lived and suggested that walking her Labrador, Dave, would make the visit look innocent. The plan quickly expanded into a night-vision stakeout, complete with goggles for both Beccy and the dog. Because Dave’s golden coat would remain visible in the dark, Scott proposed rolling him in mud or giving him a camouflage outfit and an invisibility cloak.
A listener transformed S-Dosser’s “Bish Bash Bosch” into a slow, DJ Sammy-style ballad after the original had been heard at a wedding. Scott and Beccy thought the candlelit version could become somebody’s first-dance song. They also revisited Tay Zonday’s deep-voiced “Call Me Maybe” and revived the ambition of putting him on stage with Carly Rae Jepsen during the Edinburgh Festival.
Chris questioned why women could openly read Fifty Shades of Grey on trains when a man with a top-shelf magazine would be judged very differently. He argued that his old story The Demon Headmistress: N-Dubz had anticipated the phenomenon, leading the team to invite listeners to write fan fiction about the show. In Oh, What’s Occurring?, Stupid Street described Susan Boyle as everything from “cockney” and “deluded” to “talented” and “fit”, but “quirky” was the most frequent answer.
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