Ariana Grande had left people without words
Scott had been to Ariana Grande at the O2.
The automatic transcript repeatedly substitutes another celebrity’s name, but the concert context and Scott’s description are clear.
He was fascinated by the language fans used afterwards.
Ordinary words such as “good” or “amazing” did not seem dramatic enough.
People posted phrases describing Ariana as everything, their heart or even the source of a sexual awakening.
Scott understood the exaggeration.
In the moment, a concert could feel enormous.
The Instagram caption written five minutes later sometimes looked ridiculous by morning.
Scott loved his transparent bag
The venue required a clear bag.
Scott had bought one and become oddly attached to it.
Chris thought the object looked cheap and utilitarian.
Scott saw a useful new man bag.
Everything inside was visible, which created a separate pressure to make the contents presentable.
Scott still treated the purchase like a fashion discovery.
Chris refused to share the enthusiasm.
Shoes could kill a date immediately
A conversation with somebody in the office produced another dating rule.
After deciding a person was attractive, some people immediately looked down at their shoes.
Bad shoes could end the attraction.
Listeners agreed.
Dirty or badly chosen footwear could apparently suggest something wider about a person’s standards.
Scott objected that shoes were one of the easiest things to change.
That was exactly why some listeners cared.
If somebody could not get the easy detail right, what else were they missing?
Crocs received the predictable abuse.
Dev was meeting the Strictly professionals
Then came the Dev Griffin sweepstake.
Dev had already been announced for Strictly and was due to meet the professional dancers with the rest of the cast.
Scott explained what happened from his own experience.
Contestants effectively tried out dancing with different professionals while producers assessed height, chemistry and how pairs looked together.
Scott remembered dancing with several women before Joanne Clifton became his partner.
The bet was not who Dev would dance with
Radio 1’s sweepstake had a more specific target.
Everyone chose a date for when the first photograph would appear showing Dev stepping out socially or publicly with one of the Strictly dancers.
Scott and Chris knew the annual pattern.
As soon as rehearsals began, photographers watched the cast closely.
The programme was betting on when that inevitable picture would arrive, not who Dev’s eventual professional partner would be.
The show had managed to turn Strictly paparazzi culture into an office sweepstake.
Funny Business carried on
Tuesday also brought another Funny Business.
As ever, real companies with unfortunate names behaved professionally while Scott and Chris struggled not to laugh.
After Ariana Grande and Strictly, the programme still made space for a phone call whose entire premise was an amusing business name.
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