Noel Clarke judges Chris’s plans for Pie Hard
Louise introduced the programme with the revelation that she sometimes shared a bath with Hugo, her African pygmy hedgehog. She said she only paddled beside him to keep him company, rather than using him as a loofah. The discussion nevertheless left Scott and Chris choosing which animals they might tolerate in a bath, with suggestions including a pig, a cow and, less sensibly, a crocodile.
Scott and Chris reviewed the football messages they had exchanged during England’s match against Ukraine. Chris had tried to discuss a disallowed goal, only for Scott to respond with “why”, “how awkward” and his father’s old complaint that the referee needed glasses. Chris concluded that Scott had not really been watching, a suspicion reinforced by Scott admitting that he had switched over to a countdown of plastic-surgery disasters.
Noel Clarke returned to discuss Storage 24, his science-fiction horror film set inside a locked storage facility after a military cargo plane crashed in London. He explained how the single location kept costs down while money was concentrated on visual effects. Noel also promised a departure from an old horror-film cliché: his character would not be the first Black person to die.
Chris asked Noel to assess three film ideas. Gus: The Movie followed a man dressed as a Smurf trying to travel home without his wallet or phone, while Oceaners 11 placed a nightclub robbery inside a foam party. Noel preferred Pie Hard, in which poisoned pies caused chaos at Watford Football Club, although he warned that the title sounded like an adult parody and suggested turning the victims into pie-eating zombies.
For Oh, What’s Occurring?, David Hasselhoff played Smell My Finger after dipping a finger in horseradish. Five Radio 1 staff members offered guesses including garlic, mustard, flower paste and hummus, but none identified the smell correctly. Beccy earned the points by predicting a complete failure, while the Hoff delighted in announcing the answer after every wrong guess.
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