Chris discovers Les Misérables and faces Innuendo Bingo alone
With Beccy away at a recording of The Alan Titchmarsh Show, Scott set her a deliberately awkward task: shout “Go on, pigs” whenever a guest arrived to applause. It was a neat extension of the team’s affection for the Archers clip, although Scott suspected the daytime-television audience might not immediately understand what she was doing.
Chris had spent the previous evening taking an unexpectedly serious interest in Les Misérables. A Matt Lucas documentary had led him to download several songs, and he defended them with the enthusiasm of someone who had only just discovered musical theatre but was already completely converted.
The conversation escalated quickly. Chris first wanted to see the show, then decided that an amateur production might be just as good, before finally announcing that he wanted a part in the West End version. Scott promised to pay for the team to see him if he achieved it within six months, a challenge Chris accepted with alarming confidence.
For 24 Years at the Tap End, Chris moved forward to his 23rd year and a trip to Kavos with Scott and Danny Howard. His account recalled an awkward first massage, for which he had removed far more clothing than necessary, and the holiday’s inevitable sunburn, club night and beach memories.
With Beccy absent, Chris took on Innuendo Bingo alone. The clips from television and radio steadily defeated him, turning the water into a one-man disaster zone and providing the show with a suitably messy conclusion to a day already shaped by musical-theatre ambition.
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