The royal pencil ransom was becoming a shambles
The deadline had arrived for Greg James to complete the tasks set in exchange for his royal pencil.
The plan required a Shake Weight and a mask of the Queen.
There were immediate problems.
The Shake Weight had not arrived, Greg had not obtained the mask and he was understandably nervous about posting a video which could be interpreted in ways nobody had intended.
Scott jokingly announced that he had therefore cancelled Greg from the next morning’s Breakfast Show and would put Vick Hope and Jordan North on instead.
By this point the kidnapping of a pencil had become more administratively difficult than anyone expected.
TikTok supplied life hacks of wildly varying quality
Scott had seen a TikTok hack suggesting that a takeaway burger could be bought in advance, frozen and reheated later.
That prompted listeners to send their own favourites.
One involved putting a hair bobble around the end of a vacuum-cleaner hose, sucking long hair into the tube and rolling the bobble off to create an instant ponytail.
Another suggested stuffing spare clothes into a pillowcase when flying so the pillow could double as extra luggage.
There were tips for taking selfies with an Apple Watch as a viewfinder and for stopping tights falling down.
Then caller Gary supplied the advice that gave the podcast its title: use mouthwash first, then brush your teeth, rather than rinsing away the toothpaste afterwards.
Scott reduced it to:
“Glug glug glug, then brush brush brush.”
Stupid Street met Greta Thunberg again
The archive feature returned to a previous trip to Stupid Street, where Scott had shown people a photograph of Greta Thunberg.
Despite her global profile, several people had no idea who she was.
One guessed Hillary Clinton.
Another simply commented that she had nice hair.
The clip was exactly why the feature worked: Scott could choose somebody he assumed was universally recognisable and still find people who had somehow missed them entirely.
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