Scott missed clubs enough to miss the toilets
A listener mentioned Rosie’s nightclub in Chester.
That was enough to make Scott nostalgic for the whole strange ecosystem of British clubs.
Not only the music.
Not only the dancefloor.
Even the toilet attendants.
The men who stood beside the sinks with aftershave, tissues and endlessly repeated rhymes had become part of a night-out ritual nobody had experienced normally for months.
Scott wondered what their slogans would sound like after coronavirus.
The classic rhymes needed a 2020 rewrite
Listeners started sending suggestions.
The old “no spray, no lay” style was adapted for masks, sanitiser and distancing.
Among the better attempts were:
“No tissue, big issue.”
“No soap, no hope.”
“No PPE, no chance with the V.”
“No anti-bac, no getting back.”
Some became far too rude to read.
One did not even try to rhyme and simply advised:
“Wash your hands, you dirty pig.”
Scott and Chris thought contactless payment would probably replace the loose change traditionally handed over at the sink.
Even nightclub toilet etiquette had been transformed by 2020.
Kidz Bop was still rewriting pop music
Chris had first discovered Kidz Bop at a family party.
The music sounded familiar but something was wrong.
Huge contemporary hits were being sung with any unsuitable lyrics rewritten for children.
The show returned to the idea with newer songs.
The fun was always in hearing the exact point where a lyric everybody knew had suddenly been sanitised into something completely different.
Scott had initially assumed the recordings literally involved a random group of small children.
The broader Kidz Bop operation turned out to be considerably more organised than that.
A novelty doorbell became part of Wednesday
A listener had a programmable doorbell which played a Radio 1-style sound.
The pair became fascinated by the possibility of using it to start Bamboleo Wednesday.
The feature already operated like a weekly ritual.
Adding a listener’s doorbell only made it more ceremonial.
At a time when restrictions were tightening again around the country, Scott described Bamboleo as a small island in the week where everybody could ignore the news and have a wiggle for a few minutes.
Don’t Look It Up went abroad again
The quiz used more foreign-language versions of familiar songs.
The challenge was not simply identifying a melody.
Different phrasing and rhythm often made a song sound unexpectedly unfamiliar.
By now transformed pop songs — classical, metal, bagpipes, medieval or foreign-language — had become one of the production team’s favourite ways of making Scott and Chris doubt music they otherwise knew instantly.


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