The show returned with Scott rating his exes
After a break in the supplied transcript run, Scott came back with an idea created almost entirely by having too much time at home.
Rate your exes.
No real names.
A score.
A few pros.
A few cons.
Scott created fake names for his former boyfriends and began working through a top five.
One had been a children’s entertainer and looked a little like a member of McFly.
Nice enough.
The relationship had still ended partly because Scott could not imagine dating somebody constantly doing balloon modelling.
Other entries contained annoying friends, bad eating habits and increasingly specific memories.
Chris could barely believe Scott was doing this on national radio.
Listeners wanted to join immediately
The response was huge.
People began constructing their own anonymous rankings.
Scott liked that the game sounded outrageous while still withholding names.
Chris pointed out the obvious flaw.
The exes themselves would know exactly who was being described.
Scott accepted the risk.
He also wanted celebrities to take part.
The feature had only just started and was already threatening several people’s peaceful lockdown.
Scott’s boyfriend might become a fruit picker
Another household story involved Scott’s boyfriend, who had been furloughed.
With seasonal agricultural work needing people, he had begun looking at different jobs including fruit picking.
Chris found the mental image amusing because it contrasted with how Scott normally described his partner.
Scott defended the work immediately.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with picking fruit.
The only funny part was picturing somebody you knew suddenly appearing in a completely different occupation.
Scott promised an update if the application went anywhere.
Jennifer Aniston was horrible to Chris again
The day’s archive moment returned to an interview Chris conducted with Jennifer Aniston around *Horrible Bosses*.
Chris thought it was a normal celebrity interview.
Scott was secretly in another room.
Jennifer had been instructed to begin friendly and gradually become more difficult.
She followed the brief extremely well.
Chris’s questions suddenly appeared to annoy her.
She told him one sounded silly or inappropriate.
Chris felt the interview collapsing and had no idea Scott was orchestrating it.
Years later, Scott admitted he still was not especially proud of how effectively the prank worked.
That did not stop him replaying it.
Jade Thirlwall turned her kitchen into a club
Jade Thirlwall from Little Mix supplied the remote mix from her actual kitchen.
Jade had disinfectant spray beside her.
Scott immediately suggested using it like a club’s CO2 cannon when the beat dropped.
Jade tested the spray.
The kitchen DJ set was ready.
Her choices included Jason Derulo, Doja Cat and Sam Fender, moving between pop, dance and indie.
Scott teased her about kitchen sounds and pies while she tried to conduct something approaching a proper Radio 1 set.
Lockdown had reduced the club booth to a cooker and a kettle.
Jade still made it work.
Don’t Look It Up discovered turnip shepherds
The quiz ended with historical occupations.
A turnip shepherd appeared on the 1801 census.
Scott and Chris tried to guess what such a person could possibly have done.
Then came the cowbanger, another agricultural job title.
Finally, the old knocker-upper returned: the person paid to wake workers before alarm clocks were commonplace.
The round gave the episode its title.
Turnip shepherds.
Cowbangers.
Exactly the language Radio 1 wanted at lunchtime.
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