Scott had been watching Love Island with his mum
Scott’s mum had become another occasional Love Island viewer.
This created a problem.
The programme could move from harmless villa drama into conversations and scenes Scott did not especially want to watch while sitting beside a parent.
The previous night had been relatively safe. Scott remained alert for anything more explicit.
Chris thought it was funny that a grown man who discussed strangers’ conception stories every Thursday could still become uncomfortable watching reality television with his mum.
Oli had heard two different versions of his origin story
Where Do You Think They Were? introduced Oli and his mum Jill.
Oli knew his parents disagreed about exactly when he had been conceived. That already made the feature more complicated than usual.
Jill, however, had no shortage of memories.
She began with a claim so excessive that Scott and Chris briefly wondered whether they had heard correctly.
At one stage in the relationship, she and Oli’s dad had apparently managed sexual activity around 17 times in one day.
Oli immediately regretted agreeing to the call.
The day began with a cockerel
Jill remembered a novelty alarm clock which woke them with a loud cock-a-doodle-doo.
That sound became the programme’s way into an increasingly elaborate reconstruction.
The couple lived in a one-bedroom flat and apparently used much more than the bedroom.
Jill mentioned the shower, areas around the stairs or wardrobe and eventually the lounge.
Scott kept asking questions. Oli kept hoping he would stop.
Top Gun supplied the soundtrack
The film Top Gun had recently been part of the couple’s lives.
Oli’s dad sang “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’” to Jill, echoing one of the film’s famous scenes.
The song therefore became inseparable from the conception story.
The lounge floor appeared to be the strongest candidate for where Oli actually began.
The exact timing remained something his parents could still debate. The imagery was already more than enough.
A vow renewal made it worse years later
The family later held a Top Gun-themed vow renewal.
Oli had walked down the aisle wearing a Top Gun-style outfit without understanding how deeply the film was connected with his parents’ early relationship.
Now he did.
Scott and Chris were delighted by the accidental family symbolism.
Oli was not.
A film costume he had once worn innocently had suddenly become part of an origin story involving a cockerel alarm and a very busy day.
Stag nicknames continued
The show also kept collecting names for holiday and stag-do shirts.
Listener James supplied friends and surnames for Scott and Chris to work on.
The pair treated nickname creation as a serious discipline.
A good shirt name needed to be funny enough for the group but confusing enough to make strangers ask what it meant.
That exact principle would eventually become the basis of Holiday T-Shirt Day.
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