Royal Baby coverage had created its own celebrities
Harry and Meghan’s new baby had been born, although the child had not yet been publicly named.
Scott and Chris were almost as interested in the royal superfans as the royal family themselves.
Television news coverage repeatedly found people outside royal locations who had apparently devoted enormous amounts of time to waiting, celebrating and talking about the birth.
Scott admired anybody with that level of commitment to an interest.
He also found the intensity hilarious.
Chris went to Buckingham Palace
The programme sent Chris to Buckingham Palace.
The logic was imperfect because Harry, Meghan and the baby were not actually there.
Royal fans still gathered around the palace because it felt like the most obviously royal place to celebrate.
Chris wanted to find one of the extraordinary characters who regularly appeared on television news.
The mission turned out to be harder than expected.
There were plenty of tourists and interested people.
Finding somebody at the maximum level of royal enthusiasm required work.
Scott kept comparing Chris’s real-world search with the flamboyant superfans already appearing on television.
A whole genre of excited royal interviews appeared
The programme replayed television clips of people becoming emotional over the baby.
One contributor looked almost overwhelmed by the news.
Scott and Chris liked that the same familiar figures often seemed to appear around royal weddings, births and national events.
They jokingly wondered whether being a royal superfan was effectively a full-time job.
The people involved certainly approached it with professional levels of enthusiasm.
Huddersfield got the Stark Guide
Listener Sam wanted one of Chris’s Stark Guides to Britain for Huddersfield, where he had grown up.
Chris approached the town with his usual unnecessarily grand documentary narration.
The guide celebrated Huddersfield’s sporting importance and noted its role in the development of rugby league.
It also praised the architecture of the railway station.
Then came the fact which Scott enjoyed most.
Huddersfield was presented as home to Britain’s largest nodding dog statue.
The show immediately needed to know more.
A giant version of the novelty dog normally found on a car dashboard was exactly the sort of local landmark the Stark Guide existed to uncover.
Every town had a place people “parked up”
The show also asked listeners to identify the local place where young couples traditionally drove somewhere quiet to “park up”.
Chris knew examples from his Southampton student years.
Listeners began describing hills, commons, car parks and viewpoints around the country.
Scott realised every town appeared to have one place which teenagers or young couples regarded as private even though everybody local knew exactly what people went there to do.
The royal baby had begun the day.
The programme ended mapping Britain’s unofficial romantic car parks.
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