Scott’s shoe size went on trial
The show began with an argument over Scott’s feet.
Scott had told Chris he needed size 11 trainers for a photo shoot.
Chris did not believe him.
The disagreement escalated until somebody produced a ruler.
Scott’s foot measured around 25 centimetres.
Chris compared that with conversion charts and announced Scott was much closer to a size eight than an 11.
Scott insisted shoe sizes varied and that some of his trainers genuinely were labelled larger.
Chris accused him of walking around in shoes several sizes too big purely to maintain an image of having large feet.
Listeners joined in.
The argument continued far longer than the practical question deserved.
Logan volunteered for Where Do You Think They Were?
The main story belonged to Logan, 18, and his dad Stephen.
The story took place in Fife not long after the millennium.
Both parents were around 18 and still living with their own families.
They knew one another from the same street and met at a house party.
The drink Stephen particularly remembered was Buckfast.
Scott immediately decided that Buckfast was unlikely to produce a restrained family-history story.
A walk became a search for privacy
The house party was busy and both teenagers were still living under parental supervision.
They went outside and decided to take a walk up the street.
Stephen said they were looking for somewhere private enough for “a little fumble”.
It was February in Scotland.
Scott compared the atmosphere with *Game of Thrones* and repeatedly reminded everyone how cold it must have been.
Stephen was not put off by the weather.
Then the couple saw a hedge or bush at the edge of a property.
Both had the same idea.
They climbed in.
Headlights exposed the hedge
The bush offered less privacy than expected.
A nearby house door opened.
Someone got into a car.
The headlights came on.
Stephen and Logan’s mum suddenly found themselves illuminated inside the hedge.
Stephen remembered seeing the occupants of the car looking towards them.
Bon Jovi was playing somewhere in the scene as the car left.
The whole image became increasingly cinematic the more detail Stephen supplied.
Logan said he walked past the same bush regularly and had never previously understood its significance.
He now could not unknow it.
“The Buckfast bush baby”
Scott officially classified Logan as a bush baby.
Then Chris improved it.
He was the Buckfast bush baby.
Logan accepted the title with more calm than the presenters expected.
Where Do You Think They Were? had already produced a Travelodge, a beach and a childhood bedroom.
A freezing Fife hedge was now part of the archive too.
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