Bing had become far too much
Scott began the programme admitting that the previous day’s obsession with clips of Donald Trump saying “bing” had probably gone too far.
The sound had been dropped over songs and conversation until even Scott could hear, listening back to the podcast, how irritating it had become.
That did not stop him playing it again, of course. Scott and Chris started imagining “bing” versions of songs and treating the word as if it could replace almost anything in the English language.
Doctor Large was ready to see his patient
The more substantial unfinished business was Mark, who had explained the day before that his girlfriend liked “upstairs talk” and he absolutely did not.
Scott’s theory was that Mark simply had not found the right role-play character. For the first experiment, Scott would be a doctor and Mark would be the patient.
Before it began, they agreed on a safe word in case the exercise became unbearable. Mark had just eaten a Toffee Crisp, so “toffee crisp” became the emergency exit.
Scott named himself Doctor Large. Chris took the role of receptionist and called “David”, Mark’s chosen character name, into room three.
The medical consultation became steadily less medical
Mark told Doctor Large he was a welder with a headache and a lot of tension. Scott immediately decided the appropriate treatment was a neck massage.
As the scene continued, Doctor Large asked whether there was any tension elsewhere. Mark was not giving Scott much to work with, prompting repeated encouragement from the studio to commit properly to the scenario.
Eventually Mark offered his thighs. Scott moved on to taking his temperature and told him he was “looking quite hot”, quickly clarifying that he meant his temperature was high.
By the time Doctor Large was asking him to loosen his clothes, everybody had reached the point where the role-play could safely be abandoned.
Mark had not actually used the safe word, although he admitted he had spent much of the scene more focused on escaping the situation than on remembering it.
Scott concluded that doctor and patient might not be Mark’s natural scenario after all. The experiment would continue with another character.
Ex on the Beach still surprised its own contestants
The show spoke to Katie ahead of appearing on *Ex on the Beach*.
Scott and Chris questioned the entire premise from a contestant’s point of view. If somebody had agreed to appear on a programme literally called *Ex on the Beach*, why did cast members always appear so astonished when an ex walked onto the beach?
Katie said there was plenty of drama ahead, while the pair remained delighted by the recurring television reaction of “What are they doing here?” to the one thing the programme title guaranteed would happen.
Sophie’s healthy eating had hit another obstacle
Sophie, normally one of the most energetic members of the team, was having a less successful day with her attempt at healthy eating.
She admitted that the plan had already been undermined by cake, and the show continued following her daily food choices as if they were an ongoing sporting result.
It fitted a pattern that had already included late-night cheese and crackers and avoiding a weigh-in because she was too embarrassed to face the result.
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