Yasss FC had beaten people who actually knew football
The first Fantasy Premier League weekend went far better than Scott expected. Yasss FC scored 59 points, putting him above a substantial number of people who had spent far longer studying form, fixtures and statistics.
Chris brought several disappointed fantasy managers onto the programme so Scott could enjoy the fact that his team, selected largely because he liked the look of the players, had beaten theirs.
The overall ranking still ran into the millions, but with roughly five million teams taking part Scott was comfortably above the bottom half. More importantly, he admitted the experiment had worked: he was now paying attention to football.
Scott looked like a serial shoplifter
A shopping trip had also left Scott setting off alarms in store after store. A cashier had forgotten to remove a security tag from something he had legitimately bought, but every subsequent doorway made him look increasingly suspicious.
He was stopped and searched several times and eventually faced the problem of going back through another alarm simply to get the original tag removed. The incident added “Scott Steals” to the show’s collection of unflattering alter egos.
Aston Merrygold joined Strictly
The eighth celebrity confirmed for the 2017 series of Strictly Come Dancing was announced live on the programme: Aston Merrygold.
Chris immediately complained that a former JLS member who could already backflip seemed suspiciously close to being a professional dancer. Aston argued that ballroom was completely different and made no attempt to pretend he was entering merely to take part: he wanted to win.
Scott, having competed on Strictly himself, warned him how completely the programme would take over his life and how quickly reaching Blackpool would become an all-consuming ambition.
The conversation even returned to JLS’s old branded condoms. Aston remembered that his version had been blue, while Scott recalled hosting their launch.
Chris became Comedy Dave
After leaving, Aston posted a thank-you message on Twitter. Unfortunately, he referred to Comedy Dave instead of Chris Stark.
The mistake was spotted almost immediately and the post was removed, but not before Scott had taken a screenshot. Chris had acquired a new nickname that the show was unlikely to let disappear quietly.
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