Scott has a partner
The Strictly Come Dancing launch show had finally aired. Scott completed the celebrity group dance and was paired with professional dancer Joanne Clifton, who appeared genuinely pleased to receive him.
She now had three weeks to teach him a complete first routine. Scott knew the television audience had mostly seen him positioned alongside Tim Wonnacott and Gregg Wallace, a grouping that made him feel unexpectedly young.
Judge Rinder delivers his verdict
Judge Rinder called after watching the launch. He enjoyed Scott’s place in the older men’s section and said the waistcoat looked as though Scott had been mugged by a gay men’s chorus.
The judge had also been watching for the feared orange line around Scott’s shoes, but the spray tan had been rationed successfully. Scott explained that an ordinary waistcoat had returned from wardrobe transformed by sequins and sparkle.
Rinder believed Joanne had looked either thrilled or relieved not to be chosen last. Scott insisted that she genuinely wanted to teach him, even if nobody yet understood why.
Fireproof arrives
One Direction released “Fireproof” as a free download, sending the internet into immediate excitement. Scott and Greg James tried to identify what its opening reminded them of, moving through Dire Straits and several less convincing possibilities.
The discussion was rapidly overtaken by the fact that listeners had obtained a new One Direction song without warning. Scott expected it to dominate the day regardless of whether anybody solved the musical resemblance.
Ducks speak in regional accents
Greg joined Scott for Real or No Real. One claim said ducks quacked in regional accents. The pair debated whether migrating birds remained in one place long enough to acquire one, then attempted northern and southern duck voices instead of reaching a scientific conclusion.
The show also announced a particularly large Innuendo Bingo for Tuesday: Sarah Harding against Charlie Sloth. Scott expected Charlie’s ability to hold an enormous amount of water to make it one of the wettest games yet.
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