Virtually Famous becomes personal
Scott had joined Chris for a recording of Virtually Famous. Their friendship did not prevent them exchanging cutting remarks on the panel, and Chris now had to wait for the episode to air before discovering which insults would survive the edit. The programme was due on E4 the following Monday.
A friend’s shopping text provided a less glamorous concern. He had requested “lion steaks” when he meant sirloin, so Chris began asking supermarket staff whether they stocked cuts from an animal nobody should have been selling.
Let’s Go Grunting enters the gym
An American chain called Planet Fitness used a “lunk alarm” to discourage loud grunting, dropped weights and judgemental behaviour. Reports of very fit customers being challenged sat oddly beside the chain’s pizza nights, so Scott and Chris decided to find out what an ordinary British gym would accept.
Scott filmed discreetly while Chris sat at a lat-pulldown machine with a deliberately modest weight. The first noises could have passed for effort. They developed into long, theatrical moans that bore little relationship to the exercise.
Staff initially asked whether he was all right. When the performance continued, somebody finally requested that he keep the noise down. Chris had therefore located the British grunting limit without triggering an alarm, and the resulting video inspired requests for a rally between his noises and the programme’s familiar “who” goat.
The 1975 release another imaginary collection
The show extended its spoof album of The 1975 performing “Chocolate”, now adding a T in the Park edition. The joke worked because the band appeared to have played the song at every BBC event of the summer, allowing Scott to present routine festival footage as a lavish collector’s archive.
Cheryl Cole acquires a new name
Cheryl Cole had married Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini. Before mastering the full name, Scott and Chris reduced it to “Cheryl Bernard”, an abbreviation that made an international marriage sound like a change to a very ordinary surname.
Binoculars become a nightlife tool
One of Chris’s friends took miniature binoculars on nights out. From a distance he could inspect a queue, assess the atmosphere and decide whether a bar deserved the effort of entering. Listeners proposed periscopes, telescopes and selfie sticks as alternatives, while others promised to try the technique themselves.
The practical advantage was obvious, but so was the risk of looking like a surveillance operation outside a nightclub.
Dev wins Real or No Real
Dev joined Real or No Real. Disclosure’s mother really did introduce herself as “Disclosure’s mum”. Amanda Holden had not forgotten to wear contact lenses for an entire television series. Natalie Portman really had co-authored scientific papers, and green-screen assistants really could be used to make hair move convincingly in adverts.
Dev won 40–20, a serious result at the end of an afternoon devoted to lion steaks, binocular reconnaissance and a man groaning over a light gym weight.
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