Scott tells pregnant Fearne Cotton to “have a good one”
Show introducer Sally had attended The Jeremy Kyle Show with her sister and deliberately dressed like her to attract the cameras. The plan worked rather too well: Jeremy berated Sally for not having a job before she could explain that she was between college and university, while an audience shot of the sisters appeared beneath a caption asking why somebody’s future mother-in-law hated them for being lesbians. Another listener, Molly, had been filmed looking miserable under the words “I thought you were dead until I saw you on this show” and had turned the image into a large bedroom poster.
Scott admitted becoming hopelessly awkward while congratulating Fearne Cotton on her pregnancy. After a hug, he asked, “Up the duff then, eh?”, called the news unbelievable and wanted to know how far gone she was. He sensed that each remark was making the conversation worse but could not find a graceful way to leave, finally telling her to “have a good one”. Chris was no help because he struggled with the same situation, and his continuing fury over a lunch venue posting the previous day’s menu on Twitter gave Scott something safer to complain about.
Reanna returned in her transparent Devon poncho for another particularly wet Innuendo Bingo. Olympic commentary supplied Seb Coe being happy to come from behind, a man with a big pole and cyclists wearing red and purple helmets, while Woman’s Hour asked whether its guest had ever stuffed a mushroom. Justin Bieber discussed people attacking it, and a Coronation Street exchange ended with dessert being poured over somebody’s kumquats. The poncho protected less than Reanna hoped, Chris’s jeans were soaked and the studio descended into the usual waterlogged disorder.
Scott also revealed that he had invited Chris to his home for pizza, wine and some apparently harmless filming without explaining what it involved. Chris arrived to discover he was recreating Lady Gaga’s white Brit Awards outfit in a tight costume, cotton-wool headpiece and mask, with Scott lending him shorts to preserve some dignity. The final cabaret line-up was then announced: The Boy With Tape on His Face, Stooshe, the Posh Radio 4 Lady, Pappy’s and Greg James would appear, alongside a secret comedian and guest host Fazer.
Dan and Phil’s final auditions placed talented Welsh singer Jamie against 14-year-old Ella, whose eyebrows danced to “Undercover Martyn” while her friend Eve played maracas. Scott and Grimmy praised Jamie’s voice but decided he had other routes into music, whereas there was unlikely to be an Eyebrow Idol. Ella and Eve therefore won the last webcam place because their act had exactly the cheerful strangeness required for the cabaret. An Olympic edition of Oh, What’s Occurring? then tested real national anthems against the Champions League theme and the parody anthem from Borat.
—
COMMENTS