Chris decides to become a real-life superhero
Scott opened with a story of a well-meant break-up intervention that had gone wrong. A woman had invited her newly single male friend round for ice cream, flapjacks and a romantic comedy, only for Sex and the City to use exactly the same “let’s take a month apart” line his girlfriend had used to end their relationship. The film was swiftly switched off, having made him feel worse rather than better.
A listener then told the team that her boyfriend had tried to repair an argument with a sweet message copied from The Simpsons Movie. He had denied the source despite the quotation being easy to find, which Scott thought was more damaging than simply admitting he had borrowed it. Chris was briefly asked about a similarly unattributed Valentine’s message, but made clear he did not want that particular story revisited.
With Beccy away for a few days, Chris brought in one of his biggest ideas yet. Having seen publicity for a documentary about real-life superheroes, he had found online communities of people who dressed up, patrolled areas and attempted to help others. He announced, with great sincerity, that he wanted to join them and become a superhero himself.
Scott read messages from figures on the forums, including Nighthood, who said he patrolled in disguise as a homeless person and carried a mask and utility belt, and Dark Angel, who wondered why people doing good were treated as idiots. Chris was impressed by the commitment, the double lives and the prospect of “battle scars”, whereas Scott was chiefly concerned that he planned to fight crime without a car.
Chris nevertheless began to imagine a public-transport superhero covering Pinner, Northwood, Hemel Hempstead and Watford, with a special card explaining his role. Scott pointed out that his earlier Batman stunt had been an excuse to ride the Underground in costume, while this proposal carried actual risk. The return of Innuendo Bingo later gave the show its usual visual chaos, but Chris’s earnest plan to become a caped local protector was the day’s enduring image.
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