Good actual morning, Scott’s not dead, it’s all fine! I’m Jono, I’m the actual founder of this baby, welcome to the second week of Unofficial Mills’ Breakfast Reviews…
CBBC’s Danni Harmer took the attention away from it all being about Scott…
Sport Relief-tastic
It was the weekend of most exertion Scott’s had for quite a long time after the horse shinagans on Only Fools on Horses and the Sport Relief mile. He ran the mile with Tracy Beaker, who at first he thought was Lady Sovereign. There are similarities, and I guess they’re as both annoying as each other.
Scott: “One text comes in saying they’re surprised you’re even in today Chappers after what happened on Sport Relief”
Chappers: “Let’s move on…”
If you haven’t heard the clip from Saturday Night’s Sport Relief where they introduced viewers to Chappers’ foul mouth, then you should check it out – providing you’re not easily offended. The clip is on our actual forum, along with clips of Laura on the Sport Relief documentary, Scott on Only Fools on Horses, and the clip of Laura singing Paris Hilton – the one they couldn’t put on the podcast.
Speaking of podcasts, there was no mention of them today. What’s gone wrong?
Jenni Falconer off of GMTV won the series of Only Fools on Horses; although I can’t help thinking he’s the only one who’s bothered. Scott wish he’d wore some good underwear on Friday, after getting up at 4am like some Calvin Klein as tights and men’s underwear doesn’t go well together. The instructor was so patronising Chappers would have slapped him if it was him, or even swore at him, you might find it hard to believe. I was personally more interested in how intimate the instructor was with Scott whilst getting on the horse. Scott spent the weekend at his mother’s, where she looked after him and cared for him. She’d forgiven him for the prank calls. He had spent the time on some frozen carrots.
Chappers: “Can I just clarify; you spent the weekend on a frozen carrot?”
Scott: “No, a bag of frozen carrots, in front of my mum, what’s wrong with that?”
Laura? She’s a lady, and she does lady things… Apparently!
Laura’s attempts with some comedian by her side, raised £1 million for Sport Relief, resulting in £12 million being raised over all. £700,000 was raised by Scott’s listeners, but then on the night a mystery donator quite close to David donated the other £300,000 to Sport Relief. Scott’s lips are sealed, could it have been Robin Hood himself? All that ten and a half hours in the boat with David, and to thank Laura, he referred to her on Sport Relief as “that girl from Radio 1”. Not really a ringing endorsement for her is it?
Scott’s hoping Jayne will be booted out of Big Brother this week, whilst the girl with the biggest breasts in the world won Ant and Dec’s PokerFace last night. He wants Nikki on the show as guest, as do most of our forum members, but Chappers isn’t so sure. Both Nikki and Chappers would have to be separated, or it’s likely he’d end up giving him a piece of his mind. And although a calm and collective person on National Radio 1 he becomes quite a diva playing sport. Funkyseaweed on the forum suggests we should look out for Chappers’ Angry and Annoyed Podcast coming to Radio 1 Online sometime in the not so distant future! I’ve got to disagree with Scott on booting out Jayne. Sure she grates everyone much as the kid from Frosties Advert, but without her we’ll have a repeat of Big Brother 4 – with Pete being Jon Tickle – the only one with a slight bit of fun to his name.
Jingle #1
“Scott’s never been a football fan, it makes him feel quite queasy,
So we got Lloyd to teach him, and that’s really not been that easy,
Lloyd is only ten-years-old, but really knows his soccer,
We’re hoping that when he’s old enough, that he can replace Chopper
The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills ‘cos Chris is on Holiday… International Radio 1…”
Weapon of Mass Confusion
Cute and lovable Lloyd once earnt a place in our hearts, but not any more. Since breakfast has started up, he too has transformed, becoming a menace to anyone with a phone. In today’s call, Lloyd called the most expensive restaurant and hotel in the world – based in LA. Lloyd tried to pose as Justin Timberlake claiming he had a girl who really wanted a date with him there. She wasn’t a fan of the fizzy drinks, as they make her burp. They said they were busy until 16th September, but put him through to another representative anyway, just incase it was the actual JT. The problem with this place is they didn’t even to have a proper menu. Lloyd showed off his acting skills in this call with a bit of projectile vomiting – much to the disappointment of many listeners eating their breakfast.
Jingle #2 – In a geeky way it’s good to see them making use of the last line of the jingle!
“Scott’s off to Majorca for a big old barbeque,
And you can be our friends, and may be you can be there too,
Second time we’ve been there, we are really jammy,
And may be if we’re lucky we’ll meet up with DJ Sammy,
The Chris Moyles Show, I’d like a big pork sausage, International Radio 1…”
Last year the guests at the pool party weren’t up to standard; Scott became attached to a dolphin… you could be in his arms this year!
This year, to make a change, the Scott Mills show is going to Majorca, just like last year. Chappers is now a Magaluff regular, as he was there just three weeks ago at BCM, probably because somebody pulled out. To stand a chance of winning, you have to fill out the form on Radio 1 Online, and Scott will give you a call back, where you have to answer a few questions… all about him! Start reading my reviews if you want a kick start. It’s obviously not anything like One Night with Scott and Chopper.
The idea is to get to know the DJs a bit intimately.
Chappers: “Oh really that’s the idea is it? So we will be in a tent!”
Orson’s Awesome Telegrams
Emma wanted to have a singing telegram sent to her boyfriend Martin to announce she’s pregnant. She’s got a bun in the oven. She’s knocked up. She’s up the duff – and all the other terms for a pregnant woman. She assures us it is his. When Emma gave Martin a call he was shocked, but very happy about the news.
Record of the Week
This week’s Record of the Week is Trouble by Ray LaMontagne. He has an incredible voice, and is certainly a calming summer tune – perhaps the Jack Johnson of 2006.
Jingle #3
“The summer time is here, and we’ll say good bye to the rain,
‘Cos this weekend we’ll pack our bags, and go to sunny Spain,
We’ve had a really good idea, it really is a corker,
You could win the chance to come and join us in Majorca,
The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills ‘cos Chris is on Holiday… International Radio 1…”
And for old times sake it’s time for drunk Jo and Scott to duet and pose for regrettable photographs…
Hip Hop Karaoke
And amazingly an idea that Scott had this time last month Scott has returned to. That’s a rare thing on this show! Hip Hop Karaoke is back on this Thursday night, and just as many people were interested in going along as they were as interested in going to Majorca. Scott wants Laura to be Lil Kim, and Chappers should be Nelly. He’s hoping that Jo Whiley will come along too to duet with, or may be just appearing as Lady Sovereign. Unfortunately despite the song being on the play list at one point, the mother of music – Jo Whiley – wasn’t sure who she was.
**** When Radio 1 says it’s summer, it’s summer ****
Final Thoughts from Jono
A nice mix of music, banter and features today. Quite enjoyed the banter, which is what the show is doing well, despite Scott’s tiredness. Back tomorrow with another review at some point, depending on whether I decide to go to college or not!
Oh, and what you can also do is check out ‘The Mills’ – the fanzine from us – and tell me what you think. You can even win yourself an Orson album.
COMMENTS