Good afternoon, morning or evening – depending on when you’re reading this. Through the powers of Listen Again I’m bringing you today’s review – bbc.co.uk/radio1 – if you haven’t already and want to try it out.
I’d like to apologise for the standard of this review, it was written late in the evening!
Last night Chappers went to see The Fratellis in a small indie club in London, which you’d expect to be cheap and nasty, but it cost £8 just for a drink. Chappers had missed the fact that the link was leading up to asking Scott about what he did last night, where he went to see the film John Tucker Must Die (starring the gardener off Desperate Housewives).
Scott Mills – The vermin of the BBC
Laura the Nun… Back In The Habit!
Laura was back on the streets of London today, dressed like Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act. Obviously not the same, but a similar outfit. Scott had sent Laura out to prove that if you do something as a nun, you’ll get more respect than if you’re dressed normally. So what could Laura get away with dressed as a nun? As she walked down the street she found to a sandwich shop and walked up to a lady eating a sandwich outside. Laura asked politely if she could have a bite of her sandwich. The lady gave her a bit of her cheese and ham baguette because she hadn’t had a lot at the convent. Normally you’d be sworn at or be told where to go if you did that dressed as an average Joe.
Minutes later she was at a pub. First Laura went straight to the toilet. Scott wanted to see if Laura could get some free red wine, and used the story that Laura had left her purse in the other habit. So then she tried to borrow a fiver from a regular in the pub. The woman at the pub was a Catholic and knew that she wasn’t a nun, and so threw her out.
Laura proves black and white is in this season…
She was also outside a small supermarket this afternoon. Laura had a pound to spend there. Scott suggested a carton of milk at around 46p (he obviously reads those glossy magazines to see who’s a down to earth celebrity or not) whilst Chappers wasn’t sure if she could get a condom, he’s heard they’re more than a pound. Instead of queuing up with the normos at the tills, Laura pushed her way through a huge queue, and left with no questions asked.
And finally as Radio 1 was near Oxford Street, and there are lots of big shops there, she was sent off to a record store to pre-order the Lola ‘sex song’, dressed as a nun. They couldn’t find the song, so Laura recited the lyrics to the chorus. By the time she had reached the line ‘baby let’s have sex’, he still wasn’t able to find it on his computer as ‘there’s so much sex out there’.
The guy off of the WHSmith adverts… Surely all Radio 1 DJs would want to fight him!
BBC Vermin!
Back to the pub Laura was in as a nun. This was the same pub that at the weekend Scott was harassed by some star off of the 1980s calling him BBC Vermin. Scott wouldn’t name the person, but many guesses included Nicholas Lyndhurst.
Scott: “I’d happily fight Nicholas Lyndhurst!”
Scott’s not scared of him, but thinks it’d be a good fight between him and the ginger fella. He was aggressively sending abuse and swearing at Scott for 20 minutes. Nicholas’ god-daughter was on, and Chappers was trying to tell her that Scott was up for a fight with him.
Chappers on a typical day at work…
London Calling
And no one can say Scott’s show is dumbing down the BBC this week, what with many features being based about a song about sex. At six o’clock Scott recorded some more classic singing from Chappers to go with quality clips like the duet with Scott’s mum, the time his desk was bugged with a hidden microphone, the Eminem attempts, and even the time Laura got her violin out. This time it was Chappers singing along to the Lola song in the studio. So what do you do with all these clips? You play them down the phone to celebrities of course. First of all Scott rang Pat Sharpe, who seemed to think it was Lenny. The question has to be asked, does Lenny regularly call Pat singing for sex? Then a call to the boss of the station. Chappers claims he’s used to that sort of stuff, as he wouldn’t have got his new contract without it. They then called Harry from McFly. However, that wasn’t so successful and the phone was put down at the moment sex was mentioned. I bet if it was Lindsay Lohan singing it’d be a different response. Finally there was a call to Mr T himself, who wasn’t answering, so Scott simply the singing clips on his answer phone. I’m sure he knows where to go for sex now, although I think it’ll be Chappers getting on the plane.
Also on the show…
There was more Big Brother discussion ahead of the twist tonight. How many times does Imogen say ‘babe’? Clearly far too many times! May be she should consider working on a duet with Chappers, his favourite song ‘I Got You Babe’.
Tomorrow Lola is coming in to Radio 1, and Chappers is making sure he showers, and has clean underwear on before the show. Will there be another wardrobe malfunction on the way?
After hearing today’s show, it’s reason why Unofficial Mills exists. Some of the best shows I’ve heard in a while recently, and it was great to have some of Laura as a nun available for our archives. The show continues tomorrow from 4pm. Join us on the forum for more talk about the shows, and now after 7pm you can chat with other forum members on our new shout box.
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