Alright Treac? Welcome to another day of the Scott Mills Show reviews. Scott was very pleased with himself this morning; he went to a builders merchant yesterday and actually called someone 'mate'. Next time he plans to say 'nice one fella'. He turned down the offer of having 'his doors hung', not sure whether there was a second meaning to that or not.
"Scott and Chappers get up early when Chris is away,
Hello if you're online logged on to the live stream,
Scott's a TV veteran; he's done lots and lots,
You know he really loves the all-you-can-eat buffet.
The Chris Moyles Show, with Scott Mills 'cos Chris is on holiday… National Radio 1"
This is a taxi driver from Yarmouth in Norfolk. He's been told to wear a uniform. Info-tainment for you.
Scott wanted to know how Chappers' cab ride in was this morning. He wasn't just asking out of curiosity, him and Laura had been writing a few diva demands on the order form. This morning Chappers got in to the cab and Classic FM was on and prepared for him, he opened the door for him and there was a nice snooze pillow in the back of the cab. Tomorrow they should be singing some Chicago songs for Chappers. This was followed by several lords on the texts wanting to hear 'All That Jazz' in full.
Speaking of all that jazz, the Pussy Cat Dolls tribute band's manager had been on but wasn't what Scott was looking for. They only do the one hit, and the rest is their own material. Ruubbbbiiiisshhh!
There was a tricky football question for Scott today posed by a listener – Surely the return of Scott's Sport Quiz is long overdue! It's almost as legendary as Comedy Dave's 3 and In.
The Boys of Radio 1 DVD isn't in a lot of shops. There are a lot of distribution problems with the DVD in the North – but there's a delivery coming soon. Even more shocking is that one of the major supermarkets will not stock the DVD as it's not tasteful and indecent. But there is a trailer for it on Radio 1 Online. To try and cover-up the fact he was perving on girls arses, Chappers tried to make an excuse about a mirror being in front of the girls. Don't worry Chappers, I think Scott was too…
If you see these people in a gym near you do not hesitate to call Crimewatch
Flirt Divert
Following yesterday's Flirt Divert messages Scott received a lot of calls about the girl that was apologising a lot on the answerphone, and the 'poet. Scott had some new leads about these people, and was going to ring the girl, but things obviously didn't work out as there was no call. Later Scott checked the mailbox again and found a message from a girl who had borrowed a lad's car. I would have thought he'd have called the police by now, but Scott reckons it's not linked to yesterday's Flirt Divert message which was left on New Year's Eve.
Back to Christmas presents discussion and a guy called James rang in to say his girlfriend Kelly brought him an aftershave which is from the Peter Andre range. An amazing fact about it is the bottle is shaped like a torso. The thought was there but sadly it wasn't scoring any points with rugby player James. He offered the Peter Andre aftershave up for the listeners who wanted to smell like a girl and feel insania. One caller who collected perfume bottles was after the aftershave for herself. She had skived off school five years ago and saw it could be worth some money. She has 45 at the moment.
Scott: "Why would you collect wine bottles?!"
Chappers: No you collect wine bottles, she collects perfume bottles"
Scott: "Oh yeah…"
Catherine from Norwich rang in to say she got a pair of emergency ponchos for Christmas off of her mum. It's a plastic bin liner with a hood and short sleeves. It's more than likely come from a gig or sports event. A camper rang in wanting them, so they found a new home. Just incase she wants to do a Carol Thatcher at night.
MFI? Must be another one of Laura's codes
Last night around 8 o'clock Scott got called by a recorded message saying he qualifies for a new kitchen. Scott reckons the call centre workers have given up all hope and now resort to using computers. Chappers also had one from a mobile phone company, but they hung up on him! In another story he had a call from someone offering Chappers a kitchen, and he told them he wasn't interested and put the phone down. But half an hour later the supervisor rang back and told him off!
Rate My Listener
It's back for Wednesday and today's listener is Victoria is 18. She's "kinda" seeing someone at the moment – in other words she'd got off with someone over New Year and she's not sure where things are going with him. Her ideal boyfriend would be Matt Damon and her ideal woman would be Dawn French. She's from Bonar Bridge, Scotland, is on the wine in her picture and is sat next to some girl with an awful dress on. Don't forget to go vote her goood mornin' on the Radio 1 Online pages.
Daddy or Chips? Rick Witter or Anthony?
Laura's Diary
After discussion of dessert forks and watering flowers yesterday it was time for another instalment of Laura's Diary, or the codename as we like to call it – 'Alice'. Today's extract comes from the 15th April 1996, where Laura was expelled from a hockey team, she got an A for her leaf montage, and she'd had another lesson with Anthony. She was getting embarrassed when she looked at Anthony for too long, and found out he liked Shed 7 too. Much love for Rick Witter there. We found out her right hand is very good, she just needs a bit of work with her left hand. At 8.40 in the next episode it was the 16th April 1996. Today she couldn't find Rick Witter or Anthony. She's decided she really likes him (Anthony) and her mum and Emma likes him too. Emma called her work and found out he isn't seeing anyone. Next to his name is LMF apparently, but Mary or Scott couldn't say what that means on air. I'm thinking it means lick my face? There was one phrase cropping up on the texts a lot which the bosses wouldn't like to read at 9 o'clock in the morning. It wasn't 'light my fire' or 'love me forever'.
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What a numpty!
It's the moment we've all been waiting for; Carpark Price is Right with Bruce Forsyth. The Queen was on again today saying she's not happy with the 'silly fool' comment he made about her. On Line 1 was Paddy, a soldier/surfer, and has entered One Night with Laura. Scott thinks he's ideal for Laura. On Line 2 was Aaron, a dust-cart driver. He's also entered One Night with Laura.
Brucie: "Did you see him cut the cards, Chappers?"
Chappers: "I did yes… hang on that's the wrong game Brucie!"
Brucie: "Idiot!"
The first prize today was a tool for a back-shaver – 'Hair today, gone tomorrow'. At £16.99 Paddy was the closest. The second prize today was some extra small condoms – 'Willy laugh? Maybe just a small one…' Something Brucie has apparently. Aaron said £2.99, Paddy said £104 so he didn't win it. And the third and final prize was hair-lice Shampoo – 'you have to be a nit not to want some of this'. Aaron guessed correctly £6.50. Don't miss Carpark Catchphrase back again tomorrow.
Jono's Final Words
In my opinion it's been a good show today, pleased to see Paul Turner's voiceovers making a return and the last hour was much better than yesterday's. Carpark Price is Right was certainly a winner, as was Laura's Diary. There's more from Scott tomorrow, and I'll have a review online tomorrow evening.
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