It's only bley Wednesday, which means it's only mid-week. Scott didn't sound enthusiastic about that, but the word of the Breakfast Show is spreading. Just today I was having a conversation with the assistant head teacher of my school and college about Laura's Diary…
Morning Banter
This morning a lot of texters joked that they were Kate Moss, wanting to win a mirror on JK and Joel's show, and one texter complained to Scott that he sounds too awake. Scott said in reality he'd rather talk quietly and miserably, but he's paid to sound lively. Chappers said he'll sound miserable so Scott doesn't have to – that's ok then! And finally one texter thinks Scott will be 'a dead man' if Scott continues to read from Laura's diary. She's fine with it, think of it like a book on tape. Chappers was back today after an 'exhaustive' day of recording his exercise video – 'something for the men and the women', and will be out in shops in time for Christmas. A snippet of the video will be online soon – none of those dodgy illegal downloads like Paris Hilton.
The team are off to the 'Loaded Laftas' award ceremony today. Chappers was suited out, and Scott has one ready for the day. Chappers will be eating lamb at the Loaded dinner, and one of the team members that doesn't speak needs a size 8 pair of shoes for the ceremony – that's men’s and not women’s. Scott's show is up for 'funniest radio show' – certainly deserves it, although the modest team couldn't really see why. A category last won by Chris Moyles.
And last night Scott had a strange night – he'd got up and gone into the lounge, and opened the fridge to check the food was still there, and went back to bed, and continued to do so for several hours. Hundreds of listeners, and myself included, along with Chappers wanted to know why he has a fridge in his lounge, before Scott told us that he lives in London with two rooms – a bedroom and a lounge. Chappers was quick off the mark this morning, asking where his flatmate sleeps. According to Scott there are two bedrooms, and a toilet, and a lounge. Sounds like a very luxurious flat!
During the news Chappers had some problems with the cricket – during the first bulletin the adverts were on, and during the second Producer Emlyn put his hand over the score.
And now on a more serious note…
The Vegetable Police takeover Radio 1
Anger had hit the listeners of the show today in Scott's School Dinners. Scott had been handed a press statement from Radio 1 telling listeners that the station recognises Jamie Oliver's work with healthy school meals, and how they are aware of how important putting the healthy food idea message across is, and they agree giving out deep-fried Mars bars are not funny. So as a result, Scott had 'improved' the feature. On the line today was Amy, who has a packed lunch, and she has a very healthy lunch. She has a cat lunchbox, but would like some chocolate, sweets, crisps or chips. But Scott had to break the poor girl's heart as it's now 'nutrition all the way'. Amy managed to win a cucumber, an iceberg lettuce, and enough salad for all of her class. She did not sound impressed, and I'm not surprised! Looks like lunchtime truancy will be on the increase now.
Scott: Amy you don't want me to go to prison do you?
Amy: Yeah…
Scott would like to make it clear that it isn't his fault, and now Amy will go to school upset as she only has a lettuce. They didn't even supply salad cream!
I Love You
One caller today had been saying 'I Love You' to his friends. His mate Barry wouldn't respond to it though and Scott gave him a call on the radio to hear what Barry says in response to it. Numerous times he told him 'I Love You' but didn't get anywhere. There was a lot of reaction on the text, a lot of people telling Scott they'd done it too. I tried it with a friend a week or so ago, and she got really freaked out, so I just said 'well it's me trying to be sweet'. If you say it to one of those callers who rings you offering some products, tell them that you love them, and they should hang up, or at least that's what we're told. A caller gave his boss a call and told him he loved him, and after a bit of convincing the love was returned. Scott thinks it should be a new game for the listeners. Give it a go!
Laura – Radio 1's very own Bridget Jones… just a little more glamorous…
The Diary of Laura Sayers
Laura's sister had sent some more extracts to Scott today. Apparently she knows some dirty jokes, sounds like it runs in the family! She's the new Anne Frank or Bridget Jones – I'd like to think a combination – depression and relationship troubles.
Today's extract was from the 28th August 1993 – Laura had a dream about Jamie the night before, and was day dreaming about him, and was hoping she'd like him.
"Every time I hear 'Boom Shake the Room' I think of him"
She'd worked out she was 88% compatible with him, equivalent to a marriage.
Chappers: Why was Laura American in 1993?
Scott: She's like that one off Eastenders, came back from a holiday and had changed accents.
Mary was back later with an extract from September 14th. On this day Laura had skived swimming, got told off by her music teacher, and two girls were sent home for experimenting with cannabis. Laura got nervous because she thought Jamie was going to kiss her, and was 'so trendy' because he was wearing Lynx. She was fined by her father for not untying her shoe laces, but did get some pocket money from her grandparents. Sweet isn't it? So how about it – a video from Chappers and the published diary of Laura – in shops in time for Christmas.
Suggestions on the phone included trying to find this mysterious 'Jamie' character and making Laura's life complete with a happy ending, but do we know the full story yet? Did he keep a diary?
Another extract from the early days of Laura coming to Radio 1 again tomorrow.
Situations Vacant
Today Scott was offering a job for spies for an eastern-European government. All they had to do was call Vladimir Chapman. Well that's what they thought they were applying for, but the number just went straight through to a Radio 1 answer-phone. The advert was placed in a newspaper in Swansea. The first caller seemed very keen, and even had a codename for herself. The second was a guy called Steve, and said he is good at a girl keeping secrets and has been two-timing girls for quite a while. And finally, a Welsh girl who 'loves' 007 and looks Middle Eastern (or Welsh) but says she's a bit tall. She's after a bit of money too. Chappers said she sounded 'promising'. Maybe she should try the auditions for the new James Bond movie rather than this job.
Will Young – Brightening up your day, and making it evergreen…
Rate My Listener
After the success of the Davina McCall look-alike yesterday, we've got Ross to look at. I was completely clueless about who he was supposed to be, as was most people I asked. It turns out that the guy that Ross looks like is none other than the man himself – Will Young. Who would have guessed, eh? Anyway, hear more from him on Spoony's show tonight. Don't forget to log on to Scott's Radio 1 pages and rate him happy…
Come on down!
And welcome to Carpark Price is Right – the feature that all the teachers are talking about. Brucie was back, and loved Scott's shirt.
Brucie: "Is he taking the er…"
Today's callers were Melanie and Jamie. We were introduced to a few new friends today – Ben Dover and Homer Sexual. The problem with Jamie today was the fact his horn wasn't working.
Brucie: "They sound drunk!"
Up for grabs today was a black-ash television cabinet, a nut-meg grinder, and a cuckoo clock. Jamie won 2 – 1. And Melanie was very pleased to be taking home the television cabinet. Another two satisfied listeners, unlike poor Amy from earlier.
Another great show today, hopefully there’ll be something like the On Hold Game, Takeaway Game or the automated computer game to replace Scott’s School Dinners to keep the balance!
We've another Unofficial Mills Breakfast Show review tomorrow evening…
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