Alrite Treacle?! Scott's back, Laura's back and so am I. I think that's pretty much everything we need for the Unofficial Mills reviews, so let's kick off with Monday…
The wine was on…
Holiday Stories
Neither Scott, Laura or his flatmate are speaking to each other at the moment but Scott reassured us that everyone will be fine soon. Scott's become a very chilled out traveller since having his two weeks out, and thinks the track 'banana pancakes' really sums up his trip to Thailand. They spent a lot of time in Bangkok (insert your own jokes here) and has even got braids now a days… Dave thinks Scott's sounding like Cliff Richard, whilst everyone thinks he's been on drugs. Anyway, aside from Scott's fantasy world, here's what else happened on his holiday. Laura came back with a selection of cheap sunglasses making her look like Deirdre from Corrie. There was a lot of tours going on, and Scott and Laura went on the 'Snoop Dog' tour. That consists of a boat with a Snoop Dog CD and some alcohol in a children's bucket. And whilst out of it he left a very amusing answerphone message on Laura's phone. A very surreal 20 minutes start to the show, topped off with a Dick n Dom advert.
Click_here_for_photographs_on_the_Radio_1_website._More_to_come_soon_as_well…
The Lady's Man
Whilst Scott was away last week there was a 'plastic surgery sweeptake'. Favourites were fake-tan and lypo. Scott wanted to know why callers have been asking whether he's come back 'a lady-boy'. I've always thought Scott was a lady's man, but clearly not a 'lady-boy'. Chappers claims there's a lot of people wanting JK and Joel back because they were worried about what Scott's turned into recently. But truthfully Scott says he's been stuck in a hotel with air condition and is still his shallow self! Hurrah! Zane Lowe's on from 7pm…
Fiona "watch my eyes" Bruce
Here's your news with Fiona…
The Scott Mills Show always like to do something big, and when JK and Joel had John Humphrys on last week it was time for the show to find a legend. During the news at 4.30pm the forums were busy when a 'Radio 4' style newsreader named Fiona began to read the news. It was clear from the beginning this was Fiona Bruce, although Scott didn't know that. She was the only person who responded on time to Chappers' e-mail and was 'delighted' to do Newsbeat for the show.
Scott: "Can I come on the 10 o'clock news sometime?"
Fiona: "Yeah, if you want to talk about Hurricane Katrina"
Chappers thinks that Scott and him could also star in Crimewatch in a reconstruction (she's on to it). She'd like, as a thank you, some tickets to a Coldplay gig. What an amusing image that makes.
Later a texter revealed that it's a bit pointless having police in the reconstruction as they're usually looking the other way because otherwise there wouldn't be a good crime. A very good point I think you'll agree. They could always answer the phone in the background, but then again after the disaster at announcing the One Life exam phone number I think its best not.
Request your song – 81199 by text or 08700 100 100 by phone.
Tonight you could hear anything apart from 'Sunburn' by Michelle Collins in Your Call. Tracks tonight included LMC vs U2, Kaiser Chiefs, Lost Prophets, Robbie's new single and Maroon 5. Topics on the phone included flowers, school, and Hollyoaks. Tonight's Most Wanted track (the one you've texted in the most for) was Gorrilaz – 'Dare'.
Caravans… It's Flirt Divert!
Flirt Divert
International Flirt Divert – 07770 758 759
So who's been calling in the last 2 weeks? Chappers sounded surprised that Laura had been giving it out, although he would like to clear he didn't mean that she wouldn't get the attention. One guy left a message at two in the morning asking who the person is in the phone, and asking for a lift. There was also a message for a Mr Paul Holt, talking about a damaged caravan. Scott would like to make it clear that this isn't what the number is used for. And finally some very scary guy who seems to be singing, but also very scary. Once again this guy was back sounding rather poetic, but still sounded like some lost relative of the computerised answerphone.
Flirt Divert UK – 07774 598 750
One message from a lady who rang called Peter who wants to buy an ironing board – sounds like a great prank doesn't it. And there was a man named 'Slave Gordon' looking for 'Madam Beverly' who can still taste 'the polish of your boobs'. I agree with Chappers it sounded like boobs, but it's boots. That made Scott snort and spit everywhere, along with the rest of the team. And there was another message but they couldn't be bothered with that one, and neither could I. So perhaps you'd like to Listen Again for that one…
Record of the Week
Scott's record of the week for the next five days is 'When the Night Feels My Song' by Bedouin Soundclash. You can hear this every night this week, and Chappers approves.
Rate My Listener
Rate My Listener is back today – Rajuraj from Newcastle. Scott expressed his random irritations about plugs which are turned on in the photograph. He's 27, and if he's gay he'd chose 'nobody' before deciding 'George Clooney'. In his spare time he likes to sleep, watch television and go places. Coming to a radio near you next week is Uniform Week.
Click_here_to_Rate_Him_Happy_on_the_Radio_1_website_and_send_in_your_photographs.
Well 'thank you madam', that's it from today's review. I hope like me you laughed and a little bit of wee came out, because the show was sounding great today. May be Laura and Scott will be talking to each other tomorrow. The reviews continue throughout the week, but its college tomorrow *groans* – but all the reviews will be online by the weekend at the latest.
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