Presenter: Vernon Kay
Well Scott's ill today – he's got man flu, don't worry though hopefully he'll be back soon. From all at Unofficial Mills we hope he feels well soon. But the good news is Laura is back, and she's brought her friend Vernon Kay back to stand in for Scott.
So where is Scott?
Rate Them Happy
Vernon reckons that yesterday's Rate My Swimwear person has given him something after yesterday's date, although I personally reckon it was more of an excuse to stand her up! Vernon also sends a 'get well soon' message to Scott, but wanted to know if anyone has spotted him in the last 24 hours. Chappers said it was possible Scott was in a Kathy Bates' Misery situation…
Afternoon Delights
Chappers and Vernon's had an interesting conversation about razor blades… to shave with, although Laura believes it was more about depression. Vernon began his afternoon stories with a story about a transvestite and foam party. Believe me, it's so hard to keep up with his stories, he speaks so fast!
Vernon was excited about talking to yesterday's Rate My Swimwear person after Scott took her 'up the Bongo' (a club up north).
Rate Them Happy
Today's RMS person was Emma from North Wales who's 24 and is a housewife and has a DJ husband. The photograph was apparently taken last night. She said she'd be happy with average but over the moon with g'mornin'. Her tattoo on her belly means 'friendship'. Vernon gave her 30 seconds to 'big up herself'.
Emma: "Rate me good mornin'…… please…."
Vernon then reckoned that with that attempt she should be rated minging. But she did eventually put some effort into it. As Vernon said, the voice doesn't really match the photograph. And in my opinion she doesn't seem to know how to speak in to the phone properly either!
Laura gave Vernon some questions to ask, and in turn he passed them to Chappers to ask. She said they're fake, and they're 36C (not 34C as Chappers guessed). She thinks Anthony will win Big Brother and her ideal man would be Vernon. Chappers announced that Emma has been rated 'g'mornin'. Congratulations.
Cricket Competition
Chappers had tickets and a hamper to the first day Cricket next week. Laura's eyes lit up when she heard there was a hamper. There were lots on offer, with a chance to meet and speak to a lot of Cricket champions. Vernon said it was a good job Scott wasn't here to give them away as he wouldn't have a clue:
Vernon: "Scott would be like …. 'So you all wear white… now what washing powder to you use to get rid of the grass stains?"
The game was 'which side does he bat for?' where the caller has to say whether the celebrity is a cricketer or not. Originally it was supposed to be Scott versus the caller, but instead it was Vernon. Barry was on the line to play against Vernon. Michael Le Vell popped up again, although Chappers said 'Kevin Le Vell', which isn't correct because that's partly his screen name. But anyway, presumably he isn't a cricketer anyway…
Vernon had his first experience of seeing Chappers do the lasso dance, and hopefully the last…
Your Call
Your Call tonight included James Blunt, Hoobastank, Embrace, and Dr Dre and Eminem. Tonight on Your Call there was talk about Essex girls, Merseyside and the OC. Vernon played 'Goodnight And Go' by Imogen Heap which sounds pretty cool, although I've never watched the OC. Vernon seems to hate it though! He said everyone should have turned the lights out and moved slowly with candles –
Vernon: "I should be back in Ibiza on the bitch… beach…. moving on….!"
That line has to be my favourite of the show.
Last week it was a horse, this week someone's teaching a pony to jump. Apparently "she's bucking". Right, well on with tonight's Most Wanted which was Hard-Fi.
Global Gathering Giveaway
Vernon had another ‘DJ or not’ game with a new series of names – 'are you in my booth?' and eventually 'are you in or out the box?' To win these tickets all she had to do was to get 2 points or more. She managed three but did spot the Pope in there.
Once again Laura's potty mind returned when Vernon was talking about his 'boys toys'. She seems to like her innuendos!
Other amusing bits of today's show included Vernon bopping along to one of the Radio 1 'beds' (that's the backing music) and a random person talking over Chappers during the 5 o'clock Newsbeat headlines.
Vernon left us with a teaser telling listeners to make sure you get involved with Rate My Listener and Rate My Swimwear, but what it is we won't know. Don't forget to visit Radio 1 Online to submit your photograph.
And finally…
Congratulations to Vernon for keeping us entertained during today's show, but hopefully Scott will be back sometime soon! Tomorrow it's Spoony. Gooood night!
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