One final day for the download
The free release of “Hearts Upon Our Sleeve” was due to vanish at midnight. Scott hoped to reach 50,000 downloads and promoted the one-hour Radio 1 Stories documentary explaining how the track had been made. It followed the project from the first discussions through Guy Mowbray’s commentary, the writing process, Scott’s rap and the studio session with 5 Seconds of Summer.
Scott wanted the programme to feel like an appointment rather than something listeners might eventually find on iPlayer. He therefore sent Chris into toilets on a management floor of Broadcasting House to advertise it to strangers from inside a cubicle. Chris asked men what they were doing at 21:00, whether they liked football and whether they would listen to a documentary about a “veteran” presenter’s song.
One man suffered what Chris called stage fright and was serenaded with TLC’s “Waterfalls”. Another borrowed toilet roll before being told to sit around the radio with his girlfriend. The conversations were awkward and the publicity total was tiny, but Scott considered every additional listener worth finding.
Get Five Sauce and Mills to Brazil
Jennifer Lopez had withdrawn from performing “We Are One (Ole Ola)” at the World Cup opening ceremony because of production issues. Pitbull appeared ready to continue without her, but Scott saw an immediate vacancy. He proposed flying to Brazil with 5 Seconds of Summer and replacing the official anthem with their song.
The campaign became “Get Five Sauce and Mills to Brazil”. Scott tweeted the band and FIFA, while Chris pointed out that the ceremony was only three days away and Scott was committed to a live radio show and Red Button commentary. Ashton Irwin replied that the band would participate if Scott’s backside looked as good as Jennifer Lopez’s in spandex. Scott regarded lunges as the only remaining obstacle.
Alan Shearer hears the rap
Alan Shearer called while preparing to fly to Rio for the BBC. Scott first tried to make him listen to the documentary, but Shearer would be in the air at 21:00. He had not heard of 5 Seconds of Summer and did not initially understand the title “Hearts Upon Our Sleeve”, but agreed to hear Scott’s rap.
Shearer’s restrained verdict was that it sounded all right and did not seem like Scott’s first attempt. Chris was thrilled simply to be speaking to him, especially after recently playing Innuendo Bingo with John Barnes. They also told Shearer about their alternative commentary and asked him to promote it during the BBC’s main coverage. He appeared to write down the request, although neither believed a Red Button advert would really appear in his analysis.
An unexpected end to a massage
Scott revisited Chris’s first massage in Kavos, when a language barrier had led Chris to remove every item of clothing and make appreciative food-programme noises through a partition wall. Scott then admitted that his own recent massage in a town outside London had ended strangely.
After quietly announcing “massage finished”, the therapist repeatedly slapped Scott’s bottom and laughed. He had spent the following weeks wondering whether this was normal, whether she was laughing at movement or whether he had misunderstood the whole encounter. Listeners were invited to provide an explanation that would make him less paranoid.
Dev confirms a football arrival ritual
Dev played Real or No Real. Hairless “skinny pigs” really do need high-factor sun protection, and England’s 1950 World Cup squad really were sprayed with pesticide when their aircraft arrived in Brazil. Dev explained that insecticide was still sprayed through some aircraft cabins, a practice Scott found almost impossible to believe.
J. K. Rowling did not collect coupons for a weekly free coffee. Lily Allen had, however, just uploaded a song about a fridge called “Yummy”, including a rhyme about fudge not being nutritional. The breaking fact gave Dev the round and supplied another very loose rival to the World Cup records Scott had been reviewing.
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