Scott eats part of a fork
The Friday programme began with two corrections. Chris confused 30 Seconds to Mars singer Jared Leto with American television host Jay Leno, while Scott accidentally swallowed one prong from a disposable plastic fork while eating turkey too quickly.
Scott’s tendency to panic about health made the second mistake worse. Listeners who had swallowed similar pieces said they remained alive, although several warned him about the item’s eventual return. The break appeared clean rather than jagged and producer Cara concluded that he would probably be fine. Nobody recommended deliberately testing the theory.
The Homes Under the Hammer Game
Scott and Chris again guessed songs from the literal hints spoken immediately before music on Homes Under the Hammer. A legal access problem became Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated”. Scott somehow converted the instruction to “mull it over” into Ida Corr and Fedde Le Grand’s “Let Me Think About It”, leaving Chris suspicious that he knew the episode.
A proposed hair and beauty salon produced One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful”, while a property stuck in a time warp required the Rocky Horror song. Light pouring through windows led Scott to Labrinth’s “Let the Sun Shine”, another answer too precise to look accidental. The final discussion of mortgages and loans used an obscure song with lyrics about taking out another mortgage rather than the obvious “Price Tag” or “Bills, Bills, Bills”.
Scott won 3–0. He attributed the result to understanding the editors’ thought process, although Chris wanted the Labrinth point reviewed. The game had become difficult to play honestly after Scott watched so much of the programme.
Tap End: the nation
The explicit live edition of 24 Years at the Tap End had passed 50,000 views, and listeners demanded another series. Chris thought he had already used the major events of his life and could not generate new chapters simply because the audience wanted them.
Scott proposed an adaptation inspired by Man v. Food Nation: listeners would supply the events and Chris would rewrite them in his established style. The first subject would be a first holiday with friends, whether to Malia, Magaluf, Kavos, Zante or somewhere less predictable. Contributors would describe the cast, nicknames and basic disaster, then join the programme to correct whatever Chris misunderstood or embellished.
Ideas arrived immediately. One group of 18 spent its first-night budget in Magaluf, while other stories involved Ibiza, Benicàssim, Oktoberfest, Croatia and a Zante holiday combining cards, turtles and an unsuccessful chat-up attempt. A mysterious “hashtag Mexico” was already being used among one listener’s friends as shorthand for something they had never explained publicly.
Sixteen-year-old James supported the plan after discovering the programme through earlier Tap End stories. His own first lads’ holiday was still in the future, making him a potential source for a later series. Chris agreed to try one listener-led chapter before deciding whether the format could genuinely continue.
Giraffes, dishwasher fish and Taylor Swift
The previous fact about bisexual giraffes continued to occupy Chris. He now viewed every famous giraffe, including Geoffrey from Toys “R” Us, differently and wanted to visit a zoo to observe their relationships. Scott saw nothing complicated about a species whose members were simply attracted to both sexes.
Elsewhere, a listener cleaning for an intimidating visit from her boyfriend’s parents was advised to steam fish in the dishwasher, something Scott insisted the show had tested successfully. A report that Taylor Swift sent Lorde flowers after Lorde called her flawless prompted Scott and Chris to imagine an unusually humourless night out. They concluded that Swift had been generous and that complaining about an evening usually made the complainer part of the problem.
Danny Howard plays Real or No Real
Danny Howard was photographed cross-eyed after a fake claim that the expression improved dating-app matches. Alan Titchmarsh’s new cat really did acquire around 36,000 Twitter followers almost immediately, reminding Danny of an early and uncomfortable interview in which deadmau5 boasted that his cat was more popular.
An Amazon warehouse really displayed a life-size motivational image of a woman declaring it the best job she had ever had. Giraffes did not use tree bark to pluck their eyebrows, despite Chris now being ready to believe almost anything about them. Scott won 40–30, ending January’s first full fortnight with the listener-led Tap End experiment ready to begin.
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