Reverse Mastermind
Scott launched Reverse Mastermind, also briefly considered under the backwards title “Mind-a-Mast”. The show removed every question from celebrity specialist-subject rounds and played only the contestants’ answers. Scott and Chris then had to identify the topic from an apparently disconnected list of names, places and dates.
Rachel Riley’s references to Newcastle, Ronaldo, Arsenal and the number seven eventually revealed Manchester United’s 1999 season. A collection including Bruce Springsteen, Bolton and Just My Luck pointed to McFly, while a later sequence of historical names produced the Gunpowder Plot. The hardest round belonged to Rizzle Kicks’ Jordan Stephens: answers involving a puck, a British accent and various television situations were episodes in the life of Ross Kemp.
Chris won the game after recovering from several deliberately ridiculous guesses, including Taio Cruz, Paloma Faith and “posh people”. Scott thought it worked because listeners could join at any point, although the source material’s genuinely eccentric specialist subjects made deduction far less straightforward than an ordinary quiz.
Bamboleo Wednesday
The Gipsy Kings’ “Bamboleo”, revived during the previous day’s Real or No Real, became an unofficial motivational record. Listeners requested it without any connection to the playlist, while Chris argued that Wednesday needed a burst of energy to mark the middle of the week.
Scott resisted names such as Hump Day and Wet Wednesday, preferring the programme’s existing Jam Tart Wednesday. Repeated demand nevertheless created Bamboleo Wednesday, a ritual which would continue whenever the week required sudden Spanish guitar and a largely inexplicable lift.
Radio 1’s Future Festival
Zane Lowe was preparing to host Radio 1’s Future Festival, a live showcase for artists expected to break through during 2014. The bill included Catfish and the Bottlemen, Gorgon City, George Ezra, Jhené Aiko, MNEK, Sampha, Royal Blood and Sam Smith. Scott intended to attend, although he was particularly interested in the after-party hosted by Phil Taggart and Alice Levine.
Alice arrived to establish whether Scott could attend only the party and skip most of the performances. She and Phil would wear sequin gowns and introduce live appearances from Circa Waves and Lizzo. Alice was not entirely convinced that arriving during an artist’s final song qualified Scott as a dedicated supporter, remembering similar behaviour at a Sugababes event.
The conversation expanded into the after-after-party at a nearby hotel. Scott had a history of needing help into late-night events, falling asleep before one bedroom-DJ party and turning up primarily for drinks. Alice nevertheless allowed him to come, provided he did not become the person found asleep on the stairs. She also introduced Chris to Lizzo’s “Batches & Cookies”, whose title and energy made her seem particularly suited to the night.
Fearne Cotton plays Real or No Real
Fearne made her first appearance in Real or No Real. The alleged celebrity dog-walking group connecting Chantelle Houghton, Gemma Collins and Ashley Banjo was fictional. David Cameron and Prince Edward really had appeared together in an Eton production of Toad of Toad Hall. The Queen attended, meaning her first meeting with a future prime minister took place while he was dressed as a rabbit.
That prompted Fearne to recall Princess Eugenie visiting her home with a mutual friend. Fearne had brought out a box of Christmas quiz cards, only for one of the questions to concern the Queen. It allowed her to upgrade a small gathering into the claim that she had partied with royalty.
Vance Joy’s “Riptide” was not a cover of a forgotten Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem duet, to Fearne’s enormous relief. The final claim, that giraffes were bisexual, was judged real. Fearne accepted it as evidence that they were loving animals, while Chris could not understand how an entire species could share the same sexuality. Fearne won 30–0.
The programme ended with a glimpse behind the game. A producer filling in as the fact voice recorded a phlegmy “one-two, one-two” warm-up before reading Chantelle Houghton’s name. He had not realised that the studio captured it, giving Scott material to play whenever the polished voice returned.
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