Chris still has a job
The morning after 24 Years at the Tap End: Unplugged, Chris’s staff pass still worked and the team had been allowed back into Broadcasting House. He interpreted that as evidence that his job was safe, although he had received messages about the performance and spent much of the day keeping his head down.
One listener had heard the explicit version first and then stayed awake all night finding the earlier Tap End chapters online. Scott hoped this might justify another series, while Chris suspected that management’s response to the Prague story would make a revival less likely.
The difficulty became clear when Scott tried to replay highlights. The introduction was safe, but almost every path into the story led towards language or events unsuitable for the afternoon. He managed references to a hastily used sink and the local dish ordered before the night out, then had to stop clips just before their conclusions.
The ending produced the greatest panic. Scott twice allowed the recording to run towards Chris’s final rule about never looking a friend in the eye during a particular activity, cutting it away at the last possible moment. Chris was visibly shaking at the prospect of the uncensored sentence reaching Radio 1. The full performance remained online with a warning, accompanied by Abandoman’s music and the reactions of the studio audience.
Huw Stephens plays Innuendo Bingo
Huw Stephens arrived with a soft rubber dog mess bought from a Cardiff joke shop, setting an appropriate tone for Innuendo Bingo. His distinctive technique produced narrow but powerful streams of water, often catching Chris directly in the face and glasses.
The clips began with Flog It! explaining where to put a finger, followed by Cora Cross on EastEnders saying that something tasted acceptable after the gagging stopped. The Radio Wales guest who liked coming returned from Tuesday, and Claudia Winkleman proposed licking Ken Bruce’s carpet.
Further contributions offered a constant supply of booty, Colin Murray’s advice to keep flicking a button and a Loose Women guest who appeared to have something sitting on her face. Grand Designs Australia supplied the old favourite about an enlarged deck, giving Huw one final opportunity to soak Chris. By the end his water had reached the floor, Scott’s trousers and almost every part of his opponent.
Clearing the decks with a new number
One of Chris’s friends had begun seeing somebody after roughly six months of being enthusiastically single. Three or four dates had convinced him that he liked the new relationship, but his Tinder period had left a large number of old contacts who could still message him.
His solution was to change his telephone number and begin again. Scott thought changing a number now looked suspicious because networks allowed customers to keep one through lost phones and new contracts. A group message announcing the change might draw more attention to the very history the friend wanted to hide, while unanswered contacts could still reach him through social media.
Listeners nevertheless confirmed that people sometimes made the same clean break before marriage or a serious relationship. Chris saw it as a practical way to clear the decks, even if explaining it to the new partner would be uncomfortable.
Happiness Week turns serious
The programme promoted a Sunday edition of The Surgery about depression, anxiety and mental health. Aled Haydn Jones, Sarah-Jane Crawford and Dr Radha Modgil would take anonymous calls from young people struggling themselves or worried about somebody close to them.
Scott stressed that no problem was too small and that listening could help even without calling. Chris, who had once answered phones for The Surgery, agreed that making the first call was difficult but said the people taking it regularly dealt with exactly those situations. It was the more serious side of a week otherwise built around comedy, kittens and attempts to make January less bleak.
Real or No Real
Greg James returned after attending the live Tap End. Beyoncé really was allergic to perfume and required specially treated versions of her own products, a claim which made the team question whether celebrity fragrance owners actually wore what they sold.
Matthew Koma had not sung jingles for South London’s Radio Jackie. BBC political correspondent Nick Robinson’s ringtone really was Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls”, as viewers had heard when it interrupted a televised political discussion. Lemar had not covered “Walking in the Air” in the Live Lounge in 2002, despite the possibility sounding exactly like the kind of seasonal request artists received.
Greg won 30–10, giving Scott another defeat after a day in which simply avoiding an accidental repeat of the uncensored Tap End felt like the more significant victory.
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