Too hot for daytime
Chris spent the afternoon preparing for the first live, uncensored 24 Years at the Tap End. He would perform before Phil Taggart and Alice Levine’s comedy audience as the warm-up for Abandoman, with listeners able to hear and watch the event from 10pm.
The chosen chapter was the trip to Prague for Chazza’s 21st birthday. The original daytime story had involved Chris, Chazza, Chango, the Beast and the rest of the group travelling on their first city break after a major night out in Birmingham. It included a badly chosen local meal and a night which descended into chaos, but management had removed several essential details before broadcast.
This time Chris intended to explain what they had eaten, what happened under a table and the full circumstances behind the story’s final lessons. Both men repeated the idea that it might be easier to apologise afterwards than seek approval for every word beforehand. Management seemed relaxed, but Chris knew that performing the story live left no opportunity to edit a mistake.
The title 24 Years at the Tap End was also explained for newer listeners. Chris had reached the age of 24 before discovering that people normally rested their head at the end of the bath without the taps. Scott had suggested the phrase as the title of the autobiography Chris did not possess, and the programme turned it into two series of stories about his life.
More secrets from Tinie Tempah’s house
The builders’ stay in Tinie Tempah’s property continued to fascinate listeners. The previous day’s caller had disclosed the rooftop Jacuzzi, enormous bed and giraffe decoration, while other tradespeople contacted the programme to verify parts of the description.
Scott proposed making celebrity homes a regular source of information, asking decorators and builders to reveal what they had seen while working. The idea was ethically questionable, but Chris remained more interested in the fact that three men had converted a building site into a free two-week holiday and been forgiven when the owner arrived with police.
Access All Areas suggestions
Registration was closing for the chance to control a Radio 1 studio for an hour. Scott encouraged people to propose something more original than playing a few favourite songs. One group wanted to reunite after university and play beer pong, although the glass walls and expensive equipment made the plan potentially hazardous. Another caller wanted to spin in the chairs and press every control because his normal workplace offered only a keyboard.
The invitation allowed behaviour normally prohibited for presenters, including eating in the studio. Anything recorded could appear in a later Access All Areas programme, and experienced Radio 1 producers would be present to stop the winners from doing permanent damage.
The Homes Under the Hammer Game
The show revisited its game based on the remarkably literal music used in Homes Under the Hammer. Players heard a presenter describe a property and had to predict the song which the editor would introduce to underline a single word or phrase.
Scott identified DJ Pied Piper’s “Do You Really Like It?” after a buyer repeatedly said she liked a room. Neither contestant found Muse’s “Feeling Good”, but Chris correctly anticipated House of Pain’s “Jump Around” when a horse rider discussed show jumping. Scott recovered with Electric Six’s “Danger! High Voltage” as a room was declared dangerous, then chose the Friends theme, “I’ll Be There for You”, when a renovation depended on favours from friends.
Scott won 3–1 and accepted that watching so many episodes had given him an unnatural advantage. Anyone previously unaware of the editing joke would now hear the lyrical connection every time the programme played music.
Pitbull’s apparently impossible age
Pitbull’s 33rd birthday was difficult for Scott to accept. His dark glasses, extensive travel and long list of achievements made him appear ageless, and Scott suggested figures closer to 300. As Radio 1’s self-appointed Pitbull pioneer, he was disappointed that years of support had still not produced a visit to the programme or an invitation to celebrate in Miami.
The birthday led into Real or No Real. Wembley Stadium’s arch really did contain Middlesbrough shirts left by construction workers, and named cows produced more milk than unnamed ones. Kirsten O’Brien did not greet visitors with Otis the Aardvark, but Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” genuinely sat at number 14 in Costa Rica. The strange chart position would inspire a new game later in the week.
—
COMMENTS