Scott catches up with Psy
Scott had left Radio 1 grinning after a half-hour telephone conversation with Psy in Los Angeles. The connection initially came with such a long delay that every greeting became an exchange of silence followed by both men speaking at once. Once they found a rhythm, however, Psy laughed his way through an interview involving flatulence, flaming breasts, food, Beyoncé and the extraordinary pressure of following the most-watched video on YouTube.
Psy was making an instructional film to teach the “Gentleman” dance accurately. He admitted the song had changed repeatedly since his previous visit, when he had claimed to have its successor to “Gangnam Style” in his pocket. People told him not to feel stressed, but he considered that impossible after a record seen more than 1.5 billion times. Unlike the almost universal reaction to “Gangnam Style”, the new video had attracted both enthusiastic supporters and viewers who disliked some of its deliberately rude scenes.
The central joke was that a song called “Gentleman” accompanied a character behaving in the opposite way. That included Psy trapping wind in his hand and releasing it towards a woman in a library. He thought the scene might have gone too far, while Scott called it one of the video’s best moments. Psy responded by promising to perform it for him when he next visited Britain, an offer Scott immediately declined despite Chris treating it as a great honour.
Psy had also performed Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” in a custom-made red leotard at a concert in Seoul. Dressing as international divas was not a new response to fame: he had been doing parodies in Korea for years and once staged Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” with artificial breasts which released fireworks. His increasingly surreal life had recently taken him to the White House for a second time, where guests included Steven Spielberg.
Toad in the hole with Psy
Constant travel had encouraged Psy to advertise for a personal chef. With as many as 17 flights in a month, he missed hot meals and food from home. Scott suggested toad in the hole, briefly confusing him by describing it as a sausage inside a hole. Psy offered to visit and try it, leaving Scott to write down every promise in case the proposed studio meal genuinely happened.
Chris maintained that Scott and Psy were like brothers, although Psy pointed out that Scott was thinner and had much larger eyes. They did at least own numerous pairs of sunglasses and follow one another on Twitter. Psy said unofficial merchandise and impersonators were appearing around the world. He was unhappy to see other people making money from his identity, but joked that he was also creating employment.
Asked when he would release a ballad, Psy revealed that his next album would contain several kinds of music. He wanted it to represent the previous 12 years of his career in Korea and show audiences more than funny songs and dance beats. For much of the world it would effectively be his debut album, although he had not yet decided on a title. Scott proposed Get Rich or Psy Tryin’.
A Radio 4 voice then read literal English translations of “Gentleman” over classical music. The calm delivery turned its instructions about being sleek, sexy and fabulous into something unexpectedly stately. Psy loved the treatment and promised to visit as soon as he returned to Britain.
Is Chris doing a reverse Clooney?
Seeing himself on the studio cameras had convinced Chris that he was not growing into the distinguished older gentleman he once imagined. Rather than becoming a silver fox like George Clooney or Brad Pitt, he feared he had started getting worse at 26. Scott described the process as “reverse Clooney” and sent him out with a photograph taken when he was about 19, complete with wet-look hair gel and a large chain.
The street’s verdict was uncomfortable. Several people preferred the younger picture, one thought Chris had lost weight “in a bad way”, and another confirmed that he appeared to be losing his looks. A reluctant passer-by initially awarded both versions eight out of ten, then looked more carefully at the old photograph and apologetically changed her mind.
Nick Grimshaw offered an unexpected kind of reassurance. He remembered seeing a photograph of Chris in a nightclub which had made him fancy him, but the image dated from March 2010 and sat hundreds of pictures deep in Chris’s Facebook profile. The compliment therefore raised a second question: how long had Grimmy spent searching through the photographs before finding it?
A lime in the coffee shop
Scott had spent part of the previous evening in a late-opening Turkish coffee shop while Real Madrid played. One customer repeatedly fell asleep with half a lime resting on his forehead. When he finally nodded off completely, it rolled to Scott’s feet.
Chris wondered if somebody had begun a human game of Buckaroo by balancing objects on the sleeping man. Listeners suggested the lime was being used for a headache or to discourage flies, although neither explanation accounted for why it was needed inside a coffee shop at 10pm. The mystery remained unsolved.
Sara Cox plays a Psy special
Every question in Sara Cox’s Real or No Real concerned Psy. The woman who received the “capture and release” dance move had not vomited before receiving apologetic flowers, although Chris again said he would be honoured if Psy performed it on him. Some Korean companies really did give staff instructions for dancing “Gangnam Style” properly. Sara felt confident because she had worked in Korea and had also seen children attempt the moves at a caravan park swimming pool.
Psy had not performed “I Dreamed a Dream” dressed as Katy Perry at a 2009 festival. He did, however, build a DJ section into lengthy concerts so hidden members of his entourage could massage his legs when cramp developed. Sara and Chris both recognised the story as real, producing a 30–30 tie in what Scott called the “tie Psy” edition of the game.
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