Chris objects to a re-release
Ben Howard’s “Keep Your Head Up” was receiving another promotional push, and Chris regarded the idea of re-releasing a song as cheating. He argued that the number of copies sold during the original campaign should be subtracted from the new total. Scott pointed out that songs were re-released all the time and struggled to see why anybody needed to punish the artist for gaining another audience.
Chris compared the idea with putting his Mila Kunis interview online again and asking everybody to laugh a second time. Scott did not think a viral interview and a record release were remotely equivalent, but promised to pass the complicated sales proposal to Howard’s label.
Nick Grimshaw gets soaked
Grimmy arrived worried that wet clothes would interfere with babysitting later in the day. He searched for plastic bin bags and considered wrapping his jeans, while the studio was once again covered in sheeting which had already begun to smell after repeated games. The protection did not last. Once the cameras were switched on, he became more determined to soak Chris than to save his own clothes.
His pink Comic Relief hair was still losing colour onto towels, furniture and his neck whenever it rained. The first clip, from a royal documentary, introduced retired general David Leakey and his palace nickname, “Black Rod”. Both players immediately sprayed one another and set the pace for an unusually aggressive game.
Hayley Williams discussed what somebody got up to at home, Flog It! featured an expert “pounding the gavel”, and rugby commentary produced a player keeping a finger in the dyke. Nick began asking for more water and targeted Chris’s face, while Chris repeatedly sent sprays towards Nick’s jeans despite the improvised protection.
Further clips included a rugby player taking a ball up the rear, Kirsty Wark asking a guest what he thought about “this dick”, Alexandra Burke discussing firemen whose helmets should be big enough, and an Embarrassing Bodies patient who had not bashed or hurt himself. Jeremy Clarkson described James May trying to block his powerful forward movement, while Julia Bradbury hoped somebody had cleaned up her fossil.
The final stretch brought back Hayley Williams and Sara Cox’s warning to stop touching something if it grew. Vanessa Feltz then supplied the decisive clip by saying she had bought a new rabbit and could not wait to take it up the back garden. Scott declared it the wettest Innuendo Bingo yet. Grimmy had begun by trying to stay dry and finished wringing water out of his shirt.
A potty under the bed
Scott returned to the chamber pot he had spotted in an old On the Buses film. More listeners confirmed that adults had once used them when houses had outside toilets, but the practice was not entirely historical. Lydia in Brighton knew university students who kept one beneath their bed rather than walk down a floor during the night.
The idea of keeping one in the studio appealed to Chris because the Radio 1 toilets seemed far away. Scott noted that the building rules banned drinks and other liquids but did not specifically mention chamber pots. He became more concerned when Chris used his phone to check prices, especially with Scott’s birthday approaching.
Gail Platt takes on a pop song
Scott believed that soap characters should never sing or dance because the results were invariably awkward. He replayed a scene in which Gail Platt unexpectedly sang along to an Alexandra Burke track while making breakfast, complete with expressive use of a piece of toast.
The video was placed on Radio 1’s social accounts for listeners to judge against the original performance. Gail’s version attracted a surprising level of support, although the professional singer remained narrowly ahead. The discussion also gave Scott another reason to promote Nina Nesbitt’s visit on Thursday. Nina had been texting repeatedly about Innuendo Bingo and requesting Speedos, which the team regarded as confident fighting talk from somebody yet to experience the game.
Real or No Real with Charlie Sloth
Charlie Sloth joined the programme and was immediately distracted by Scott’s impression of Australian prime minister Julia Gillard. The first claim, that an early portable record player was carried on wheels and powered by a dog, was false. Charlie then reminded the team that Matt Edmondson had previously awarded him a Barbados holiday for winning, but nobody accepted responsibility for paying.
Justin Bieber really could solve a Rubik’s Cube in under two minutes. Charlie had assumed that somebody who took ten minutes to remove a shirt would not manage it, while Scott reasoned that a singer unable to leave his hotel without crowds had plenty of time to practise.
Kele Okereke from Bloc Party had not chosen the cruise-ship documentary which launched Jane McDonald as his specialist subject on Celebrity Mastermind. Rihanna also had no personal tartan which she used as a California king-size bedspread. Charlie claimed he had been to Rihanna’s home and had not seen it, but Chris’s reaction started an argument about whether he was judging Charlie’s size rather than the reliability of the story.
Scott and Charlie finished with 20 points each. The programme then looked ahead to another toilet experiment, with Scott promising a new set of questions and considering how the format might move beyond the men’s room.
—
COMMENTS