Matt hosts the show
Matt Edmondson sat in for Scott and described the assignment as strange because he normally listened to the programme’s download while falling asleep. Chris was also absent on his birthday, although Matt noted that he loved requesting shout-outs and had recently texted Matt’s weekend show while baking.
Taking charge on a Tuesday meant Matt would host Innuendo Bingo for the first time. He had played along at home with water while making lunch, but had never controlled the clips in the studio. Dev Griffin arrived from the early breakfast show to face Adele Roberts from 1Xtra, with both making their proper debuts in the game.
Dev and Adele play Innuendo Bingo
The opening clips included furious forking before a football match, a rugby player with four men inside him and another preparing to take it up the middle. Adele immediately sent a large spray of water at Dev, while Dev developed a peculiar ability to keep his mouthful in place and laugh internally.
Further clips involved blowing bagpipes, Zane Lowe watching somebody fix a back door, Denise Welch putting filling in her pie and Jedward advising a reporter to keep her legs closed in windy weather. Top Gear contributed Jeremy Clarkson saying he had pulled Richard Hammond off, while Come Dine with Me featured somebody surrounded by flies while fondling a cabbage.
Dev continued to leak water down his face rather than release it towards Adele. His continuous muffled giggle became part of the game, with listeners comparing it first with cartoon dog Muttley and then with Winnie the Pooh. Adele had no such restraint and repeatedly drenched him.
The final clips came from Pointless contestants who met at a beaver party and Rick Stein’s description of a Majorcan pastry as a large lardy cake. The last one finally caused Dev to explode. He later removed his jeans and attempted to dry them beneath the hand dryer in the toilets, discovering that their dye had turned his legs blue.
Dev Direct and Comic Relief
Dev opened his telephone line for listeners to speak to him directly ahead of Radio 1’s Comic Relief challenge. He wanted people to find ways of saving £5 so they could donate it on Thursday, perhaps by making their own coffee or eating food already in the fridge instead of buying lunch.
Matt questioned whether petty theft from a housemate truly counted as fundraising, but Dev welcomed any sensible suggestion. Before leaving, he demonstrated the same distinctive laugh when Matt told him the traditional joke about a chicken crossing the road.
Rylan plays Word to Your Mother
Matt replayed a Mother’s Day feature from his weekend programme in which Rylan Clark had three minutes to work five unlikely phrases into a telephone call with his mother Linda. The required subjects were the Pope, a wig, warm custard, flowery baps and Dr Christian Jessen.
Rylan claimed to be at an airport where British Airways was filming the new Pope, who was apparently British and wearing a wig. He then said he was with Dr Christian Jessen and eating flowery baps. Linda accepted the increasingly improbable story, allowing Rylan to complete the challenge and leaving him worried that she would repeat the encounter to the rest of the family.
Matt discovers his superpower
Matt believed he could detect tiny differences in the weight of tubs of chocolate cornflake bites using only a finger and thumb. He spent several minutes comparing every tub in a shop so that he could select those containing the most chocolate, and considered himself vindicated when one bite contained no cornflake at all.
Listeners claimed related abilities involving crisps, make-up testers, KitKats and the number of Pringles in a tube. One objection threatened the entire theory: an item might feel heavier in the weaker of a person’s two arms. Matt was forced to consider that his apparent superpower could simply be uneven strength.
Real or No Real with Charlie Sloth
Charlie Sloth arrived in the jacket which he regarded as the source of his broadcasting power. He was preparing to attempt stand-up comedy after challenging Matt to perform hip-hop karaoke, and previewed a joke explaining that Biggie Smalls disliked holidays because he did not like Tupac.
With Scott away, Matt increased the value of every correct answer to 50 points. Ronald Reagan’s chief of staff really was Donald Regan, despite the two men not being related. Hair wax did not naturally smell of wet cat before perfume was added. Pigeons really could remember the face of somebody who chased them, but Alex Jones did not secretly disguise a limp with her smile.
Matt and Charlie finished with 100 points each. Charlie declared that the result gave him enough points for a holiday to Barbados and left a message for Scott to arrange it.
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