Vicki finally introduces the show
Vicki from Widnes introduced the programme after emailing 57 times for the opportunity. She justified her persistence with a rapid list of facts: she had stood in front of boxer Amir Khan, held a black belt in taekwondo, could count to ten in Korean and had once owned a co-star that appeared on Coronation Street. Her best story concerned her mother solving a nine-letter word on Countdown while giving birth at home before being taken to hospital.
Cheryl Cole discovers Chris’s nudie pen
Cheryl Cole had visited Radio 1 with Tinie Tempah, and Scott watched the interview online from home. He saw her pick up one of the novelty pens Chris had deliberately planted on the desk, then watched in horror as the camera operator moved in for a close-up. When Cheryl turned the pen over and discovered that the man’s clothes disappeared, she described herself as “quite appalled” and asked for it to be removed.
Fearne Cotton initially blamed Danny Howard, whose programme also used the studio. Chris came downstairs afterwards, but chose to secure a photograph with Cheryl instead of confessing immediately. Scott was annoyed that his friend had escaped responsibility, changed the picture on his profile and left somebody else carrying the blame.
Scott made Chris write a formal apology. The first attempt, “Sorry about the nudie pen. Thought it’d be right up your street. Have a good one”, was rejected. The revised letter explained that the pen had been intended as a humorous item, apologised for upsetting her during a serious interview and promised that it would not happen again. Chris still wanted to enclose the pen in case she changed her mind, but Scott stopped him.
Charlie Sloth accepts the pen
Charlie Sloth arrived wearing a cardboard crown and celebrating his forthcoming Radio 1Xtra afternoon show. Unlike Cheryl, he was delighted by the novelty pen and accepted the one she had touched as a present. He and Scott discussed his claim to be the best-looking fat man in the universe, the energy required to present radio while standing up and the commercial possibilities of producing a Charlie Sloth version of the pen.
Scott becomes a transfer expert
Scott spent transfer deadline day suddenly supplying Chris with football news, including moves involving Nigel de Jong, Andy Carroll, Charlie Adam and Scott Sinclair. Chris could not understand how somebody with so little interest in the sport had become so well informed. Eventually newsreader Chris Smith emerged to reveal that he had been feeding Scott each update, allowing him to pass off somebody else’s knowledge as his own.
The discussion also exposed Chris’s efforts to become friends with the mothers of famous people. After contacting Emily Atack’s mother, Kate Robbins, on Twitter, he had met her for a drink and only afterwards learned more about her own career, including Eurovision and the Surprise Surprise theme. Scott told him that he needed to stop pursuing celebrities’ mothers instead of the celebrities themselves.
The Bake Off ban
Scott added The Great British Bake Off to the list of programmes barred from Innuendo Bingo. He believed its discussion of fruity tops, middle-finger spins, squeezing techniques and double-handers was now deliberately engineered to attract the feature’s attention. It joined The Hotel Inspector, Phil Spencer: Secret Agent and Come Dine with Me on the banned list because intentional innuendo removed the fun of discovering it unexpectedly.
Oh! What’s Occurring?
The final game tested how long people would tolerate fake flatulence during a telephone call before mentioning it. Gemma’s friend Kirsty asked whether she had wind after 38 seconds. Scott then called new Radio 1 DJ Phil Taggart under the pretence of offering broadcasting advice, including moving closer to the microphone, playing only one song at a time and dressing more smartly for the webcam. Phil finally challenged the noises after two minutes and ten seconds, close enough to Scott’s prediction to earn the points.
COMMENTS