Chris remembers the nude pens and Scott practises for Sport Relief
The Friday show opened with listener Jess, from Bristol, translating Chris’s familiar “bish bash bosh” line into French. It was exactly the kind of unnecessary but highly welcome contribution the programme encouraged, and Scott gave the version plenty of room before moving on to the rest of the show.
There was also more preparation for Scott’s Let’s Dance for Sport Relief appearance. The team played out the parts of the planned routine, with Chris cast as the captain of a plane and Beccy contributing a rap, turning what should have been a straightforward charity-TV plug into a rather elaborate bit of show business.
For 24 Years at the Tap End, Chris reached his thirteenth year and a school trip to Boulogne. The most important purchase was not the French food or a souvenir, but novelty pens which revealed naked women when turned upside down.
Chris said the pens became the coach’s shared entertainment until a teacher realised what was going on. When she demanded to know who had one, almost everybody held one up, leaving the group to hand over their contraband as a collective punishment.
The show also returned to its usual mixture of listener correspondence and Olympic anticipation, with Chris attempting to learn enough about the forthcoming Games to sound useful. It was a strong example of the programme’s formula: a genuine diary entry, an absurd childhood detail, and Scott and Beccy making sure Chris could not tell it with any dignity.
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