Chris’s nursery-rhyme plan to make Scott immortal
Scott’s second Breakfast Show cover began with an experiment in sitting far too close together. Inspired by television presenters apparently sharing one end of a huge sofa, Beccy and Chris attempted to sit on Scott’s knees while he tried, unsuccessfully, to pretend it was a perfectly normal way to start the day.
The team also played their version of showbiz news, deciding which unlikely story might be true. The possibilities included a footballer becoming an X Factor judge, Snoop Dogg having a hot tub on his tour bus and David Hasselhoff wanting Daniel O’Donnell to voice KITT in a Knight Rider revival. Scott was especially taken with the image of a hot tub moving at speed around corners.
Chris continued his campaign to persuade everyone that he might win over Fearne Cotton during Scott’s stint on Breakfast. Beccy’s theory was that women who worked with Scott eventually developed a crush on him, while Scott pointed out that Chris’s blazer-and-T-shirt combination was doing a lot of work in support of a highly ambitious plan.
Another local-news discovery gave them the idea of burying open musical birthday cards to deter moles. Scott could not get past the practical flaw, namely that the mole would somehow need to find and operate the card, while the sound of a message underground became a running joke about a celebrity trapped beneath a lawn.
The day’s grandest claim came from Chris, who announced he had found a way to make Scott immortal. His solution was not a monument or a recording, but a new nursery rhyme: the old ones had lasted for centuries, so in Chris’s mind turning Scott into a character in one was the surest route to permanent fame.
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