Scott had believed the official adjudicator was literally Judy Cater
Scott had appeared on Greg James’s breakfast feature Fact Controller and revealed a childhood misunderstanding.
When quiz shows announced that answers had been verified by an official adjudicator, young Scott believed this was one specific woman.
Judy Cater.
She apparently worked on every quiz programme.
Deal or No Deal.
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
Exam results.
Anywhere something needed verifying, Judy Cater must be there.
The confession produced another challenge.
Could Radio 1 find real listeners whose names sounded like phrases?
Judy Cater.
Jack Potts.
Sue Pub.
The hunt produced some near misses and exactly the kind of phone calls the show loved.
Chris phoned a lingerie shop for Valentine’s advice
Then came one of the programme’s dangerous annual traditions.
Chris would call a real lingerie shop.
Scott had a list of product names and descriptions.
Some were genuine lingerie.
Others had been taken from completely unrelated products.
Chris did not know which was which.
He had to ask with total sincerity.
The shop assistant had to decide whether he was confused, strange or simply a customer with unusually specific requirements.
Domestic appliances became lingerie
Chris asked about a self-propelled cordless two-piece ribbed rear roller.
No.
The shop did not have that.
Then came a reduced-noise three-motor anti-vibration echo-silence gentle washer.
Again:
no.
The assistant finally pointed out the obvious.
They sold lingerie.
Not washing machines.
Scott was already struggling to breathe.
“We don’t sell nozzles”
Then Chris read the next description:
an EasyAquatak-style product with powerful cleaning pressure and a variable fan-jet nozzle.
The assistant had reached the limit.
“We don’t sell nozzles.”
The line instantly became the podcast title.
After the call, Scott revealed that the fake descriptions had come from things such as a saw, lawnmower, washing machine and pressure washer.
The problem was that real lingerie descriptions could sound almost as implausible.
That was why the game worked.
Tan France returned to Innuendo Bingo
The Golden Moment went back to Innuendo Bingo with Tan France from *Queer Eye*.
Scott remembered being particularly worried because Tan’s entire public image was built around clothes and style.
Innuendo Bingo’s entire format was built around getting those clothes soaked.
The archive clips included accidental double meanings from Sir Bobby Charlton, Dale Winton and other television and radio moments.
Tan tried to hold the water.
Then inevitably lost it.
Scott remained slightly guilty about what happened to the outfit.
Luude’s Down Under received the extended treatment
The show was also obsessed with Luude’s drum-and-bass version of Down Under.
The original remix was only a few minutes long.
Listeners wanted more.
Scott and Chris had previously stretched *Rasputin* into absurdly long versions.
Could they do the same here?
Producer Amy created an extended edit.
The messages demanded they keep going.
For several minutes the programme abandoned ordinary radio pacing and simply stayed Down Under.
Scott described the experience as vaguely hypnotic.
Nobody from management appeared to stop them.
That counted as permission.
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