Somebody had been using Chris’s muff
The programme began with what Chris considered a workplace theft.
During COVID restrictions, Radio 1 presenters had been given individual foam covers for their microphones.
Chris called his a muff.
Each presenter was supposed to keep their own for hygiene reasons.
Chris hid his inside a box in the studio.
Then it started disappearing.
Someone else appeared to be using it and not putting it back.
Worse, when it returned it was not always particularly clean.
Chris compared the situation with the classic *Summer Heights High* clips where Mr G becomes increasingly territorial about staff stealing his mugs and food containers.
A sign was required.
The warning escalated to a police matter
Chris drafted a deliberately severe notice.
If anybody touched his microphone muff again, he would consider it theft.
And if it was theft, it could become a police matter.
Scott encouraged the drama.
The real issue was obviously tiny.
The presentation made it sound as though Radio 1 had an organised criminal operating inside Broadcasting House.
Scott was having a summer party
Scott then revealed he had a small outdoor gathering planned at his house.
He repeatedly called it a government test event.
It was not.
What he had actually done was take the testing seriously.
Lateral-flow tests would be available at the front of the house.
Guests would test before going around the back to the barbecue and party.
Scott even imagined running the entrance like *The X Factor*.
Negative test?
Through to the next round.
Positive?
Home.
Chris had never actually been invited
The awkward part came when Scott discussed the guest list.
His boyfriend had asked who Scott had invited.
Scott could not really remember.
Chris then pointed out that Scott had not invited him.
Scott had invited Chris’s wife.
He appeared to have assumed this automatically included Chris.
Chris was less convinced.
The exchange became even funnier because Scott admitted he was generally terrible at party administration.
If somebody from Radio 1 had not received an invitation, Scott insisted it did not necessarily mean he disliked them.
He might simply have forgotten.
Chris was apparently the best evidence.
No social media inside Scott’s house
There was another rule.
Guests were not to post photographs of Scott’s home.
He did not want the inside of the house appearing all over Instagram.
Chris had heard this rule from other invitees before Scott had even discussed it with him.
The party therefore had COVID testing, a social-media policy and an unclear guest list.
Scott’s joke about it being an official test event was becoming less ridiculous by the minute.
Animal Tennis became almost completely unrecognisable
The show also returned to Animal Tennis.
By this stage the game included more than tennis players and animals.
Caller Elspeth had to identify noises including Novak Djokovic, animals, Vick Hope, Tion Wayne and even Scott reacting to ice down his trousers.
Then came the rallies.
A tennis player versus Scott.
Tion Wayne versus a goat.
A fox versus the church dog.
At one point no actual tennis player was involved.
Scott acknowledged the game had become very silly.
That was exactly why everybody wanted another round.
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