Scott and Chris absolutely did not want to talk about their award
The show had won an award the previous night.
Scott and Chris immediately announced that they did not want anybody mentioning it.
This instruction was not especially convincing.
Caller after caller came on to congratulate them.
Every time, the presenters responded with exaggerated embarrassment.
“Stop it.”
“Be humble.”
“No more calls about the award.”
Then another caller appeared and did exactly the same thing.
Scott even told one regular listener that an extremely tiny part of the trophy technically belonged to her because she had supported the show.
The repeated refusal to discuss the award became a very efficient way of discussing the award for a large part of the programme.
Listeners explained what the show had meant during lockdown
One caller said Scott and Chris had effectively become her work colleagues while she worked from home alone.
She counted down to the programme each day and felt as though she was listening to two friends.
That cut through the fake modesty.
Scott and Chris were genuinely touched.
The previous year had made radio companionship unusually important, and the award conversation gave listeners an excuse to explain that directly.
Chris got vaccinated
Chris had received his coronavirus vaccine that morning.
Like Scott before him, he became hyper-aware of every ordinary bodily sensation afterwards.
Did he need the toilet because of the jab?
Was scratching his head a side effect?
Was any tiny change meaningful?
Scott reassured him that the answer was probably no.
Then Chris discovered something much more exciting.
The Vaccine Whisperer was born
Chris claimed the vaccine had given him a new supernatural skill.
He could look at or listen to somebody and identify which jab they had received:
Pfizer.
AstraZeneca.
Moderna.
Scott immediately recognised the structure.
This sounded suspiciously similar to Chris’s old Vegan Whisperer feature.
Chris insisted it was completely different.
This power had arrived through the vaccine now coursing through his veins.
He entered the familiar fake trance and began questioning callers.
The feature tested whether he could maintain yet another completely implausible success rate.
Big Weekend memories filled the quiz
Radio 1’s Big Weekend was about to begin.
Don’t Look It Up therefore raided old festival interviews.
Scott and Chris heard clips of Radio 1 presenters asking musicians questions and had to identify the artist.
One involved Greg James telling Taylor Swift that the *Antiques Roadshow* had been removed from BBC One’s Sunday-night schedule for her.
Another revived Chris’s famously awkward interview with Catfish and the Bottlemen, where an attempt to ask whether they were excited about Foo Fighters produced an emphatic “no”.
Scott had watched the conversation collapse and eventually stepped in.
Wrestling Move or Cocktail also returned
The quiz included Wrestling Move or Cocktail.
A Tiger Bomb sounded like a drink but was a wrestling move.
A Boilermaker sounded like a wrestling move but was a drink combining whiskey and beer.
A Sharpshooter returned them to wrestling.
Scott and Chris got tangled enough in the descriptions that actual wrestling fans started messaging corrections.
It was an appropriate end to May.
An award nobody was allowed to mention, a vaccine-created superpower and a quiz where almost every instinct was wrong.
COMMENTS